NOT AS GOOD AS PORTUGAL, NOT AS BAD AS SCOTLAND
John Higgins has been doing pretty well in the snooker recently. He’s won two of the season’s first four ranking tournaments. Some feel-good news there for fans of Scottish sport. Elsewhere, with Euro 2016 slots already guaranteed for England, Wales, Norn Iron, France, Belgium, Iceland, Basingstoke Town and a five-a-side team consisting of Eric Pickles, Roy Cropper, Lawrence from Felt, Mog the Cat (d. 2002) and Uncle Tom Cobley, the Republic O’Ireland play Bosnia-Herzegovina in the hope of becoming the latest nation situated quite near Scotland to qualify for Europe’s premier tournament.
It’s already a long list. And no wonder! If The Fiver’s worked this out correctly, the loser of this two-legged play-off would become only the fifth team in Europe to be knocked out by this very generous qualification process, after Scotland, Holland, the Netherlands and the Dutch. Nobody wants to suffer a similar fate to those deadbeats, so Friday night’s first leg in Zenica promises to be hotly contested. Bosnia-Herzegovina finished the group stage strongly to make the play-offs, with a three-win run that included a 2-0 victory over a Welsh side that had prematurely downed tools. Their danger man is the in-form Miralem Pjanic, who has been causing all sorts of playmaking bother in Serie A as Roma go chasing after a rare Scudetto. His every move will be tracked by Glenn Whelan of Stoke City, who will need to raise his game because he’s not facing Chelsea now.
O’Ireland could also do without the continued absence through injury of Shane Long. He’s now of course principally famous for scoring the purest route-one goal in the history of All Football, against world champions Germany. However, perhaps more relevantly, he also notched the winner in the only previous meeting between these sides, a 2012 friendly in Dublin. Long will hopefully have recovered in time for Monday’s second leg, but until then Martin O’Neill’s team can at least take succour from major championship play-off history, which is firmly on their side. The Irish may have only won two of the six they’ve contested over the years, but Bosnia-Herzegovina have a 100% losing record. Admittedly both of those defeats were against Portugal, and Daryl Murphy is no Nani, never mind Him. But it’s better to concentrate on the positives, as the 49,359 John Higgins fans streaming out of Hampden after the Poland game last month will attest.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It’s a little bit insulting that both Welsh clubs and potentially many more from lower down the football pyramid will be classed as English. The rebranding is factually incorrect and completely unnecessary. Newport and Cardiff City are both in the Football League. The rebranding will make a lot of money for companies making logos and headed paper but will do nothing for teams playing in the three divisions. What’s the point? The Football League had status, we knew what it meant, why mess with a brand that clearly works?” – Tim Hartley, chairman of the Cardiff City Supporters’ Trust, offers his two cents on the English Football League.
FIVER LETTERS
“Re: Alex Walsh’s ‘flash keeper’ (yesterday’s Fiver letters). In my day, there were two options if you were a man short. The first was ‘rush goalie’, where a designated player was the keeper but could come out or ‘scramble’, where anyone could be the keeper and play out but only one of you could handle the ball in the area at any one time. I’ve no idea why either was called what it was” – Adam Spriggs (and 1,056 others, at least in terms of ‘rush goalies’).
“Failing Fifa integrity checks (yesterday’s Bits and Bobs)? That’s like being refused a seat on the Pope’s Newc O’Rangers board on the grounds that you lack business sense” – Jason Tew.
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet the Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is: Jason Tew. Which is unfortunate for Jason, as we kick off our bumper Football Manager 2016 giveaway from Monday, thanks to the good people at FM Towers. Get writing.
JOIN GUARDIAN SOULMATES
Chances are that if you’re reading this tea-timely football email, you’re almost certainly single. But fear not – if you’d like to find companionship or love, sign up here to view profiles of the kind of erudite, sociable and friendly folk who would never normally dream of going out with you. And don’t forget, it’s not the rejection that kills you, it’s the hope.
RECOMMENDED VIEWING
Mauricio Pochettino and the England production line.
BITS AND BOBS
Roma’s on-loan Arsenal keeper Wojciech Szczesny reckons he’s a wanted man. “I love Arsenal, but I’m happy at Roma,” he blootered, trying to tease out a funky threesome. “I know that Roma want me, but I don’t see why Arsenal would not want me also.”
Treading water’s David de Gea says he’s chuffed to be at Manchester United. “I felt in that moment that to extend my contract was the best thing to do,” he cooed. “I’m really happy now, at one of the biggest clubs in the world, where I feel loved by the fans.”
Argentina and Brazil will go again on Friday night after torrential rain in Buenos Aires forced their World Cup qualifier to be postponed on Thursday. “It wouldn’t just be hard to play good football, there is hail and lightning and the forecast is that it will get worse,” sighed Brazil assistant coach Gilmar Rinaldi. “The players could be at risk,” he eventually added.
Joe Hart will captain England in their friendly against Spain.
Spain’s Uefa vice-president Ángel Villar Llona is £16,000 out of pocket after being fined by Fifa for failing to help out with its investigation into the 2018 World Cup bidding process.
And James Milner hopes to shake his hamstring-twang in time for Liverpool’s game against former paymasters Manchester City next weekend. “Hopefully I’ll be all right,” he thrilled.
STILL WANT MORE?
The Football Manager 2016 review.
Brace yourselff for a Sid Lowe love-in: our man in Spain pays tribute to Raúl, who is 90 minutes from retirement after leading the New York Cosmos into the NASL final.
How bothered are people about David Beckham returning to Old Trafford to play in a charity match? Quite, apparently. But with good reason, writes Paul Wilson.
Paul Doyle penned this enjoyable Joy of Six on international football play-offs …
… and this on what Martin O’Neill’s men need to do in Zenica.
Euan McTear tells the story of how Cuba spent six months training in North Korea in 1969, and why it worked a treat for them.
You are the Ref. Starring Quique Sánchez Flores.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace.
SIGN UP TO THE FIVER
Want your very own copy of our free tea-timely(ish) email sent direct to your inbox? Has your regular copy stopped arriving? Click here to sign up.
