Netflix's new series "Maid," adapted from Stephanie Land's memoir, shows a desperate woman who is alone in trying to free herself and her daughter from an abusive relationship. After fleeing her boyfriend, young single mother Alex (Margaret Qualley) is in and out of shelters and tries make ends meet as a house cleaner in order to provide a life free of fear and control for her daughter Maddy (Rylea Nevaeh Whittet).
But throughout the series, we see that it's not just her boyfriend who is a problem, but the many ways that Alex cannot seem to get away from her him, whether it's the government that keeps pulling him back into her life or other men who enable the behavior. In fact, the limited series' expansive cast of male characters are all uniquely toxic, even violent on varying levels in their own ways. While "Maid" highlights the struggles of a woman stuck in the system of poverty, it's also a damning look at how our society has normalized the many ways that women can face abuse at home, even if it's not physical violence.
As the story begins, Alex flees Maddy's alcoholic father Sean (Nick Robinson) after he punches a wall, sending shattered glass into Maddy's hair and almost hurting her. It's the last straw in a pattern of anger and violence, and demonstrates that Alex is escaping a nasty situation. And while it's clear Sean has never physically attacked Alex or Maddy directly, Alex quickly realizes a devastating truth that many victims of domestic abuse have often faced: seeking help and being taken seriously might even have been easier for her if her partner had been physically abusive.
As sobering as this reality is, "Maid" clearly demonstrates how multiple forms of domestic abuse exist and that the downright illogical barriers and gatekeeping in place often keeps Alex from receiving the help and resources she needs.
The government is no help
In her life with Sean, he controlled Alex's finances, her access to a car and phone, her access to the outside world and relationships with other people, and even her access to Maddy, their daughter. When Alex leaves him, she no longer has a home or any of those things, except for Maddy. But it's difficult for Alex to prove that she need help because of the lack of physical violence to her person.
When she seeks help from a social worker, she's told to file a police report. "And say what?" she asks. "That [Sean] didn't hit me?"
As the series progresses, we see different glimpses into how no resources are offered to Alex to break away from her previous life. Even crashing at a friend's house is out of the question when she learns that Sean had called ahead and was already on the way over.
Alex struggles to get free from this devastating cycle, because of the tangled web that is being a working, single mother in poverty. But she can't apply for subsidized housing without a job, she can't get a job without child care, and she can't apply for daycare without having a job. She's stuck.
Throughout "Maid," we witness the many ways domestic abuse and intimate partner violence can unfold beyond physical attacks. Lacking government programs all but force victims like Alex to remain with their abusers in some capacity, or lose housing for themselves and their children — and even lose access to a phone, an income, food, health care, and other basic needs.
At one point she even loses custody of Maddy to Sean, who only gives up full custody when he realizes how taking care of Maddy triggers his alcoholism. This experience isn't rare; many poor mothers with abusive partners are punished for struggling to parent while facing abuse, living below the poverty line, and receiving no help.
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The men who enable Sean
Throughout "Maid," Alex is repeatedly denied agency and entrapped in complex, seemingly inescapable webs created or enabled by Sean, the government, and even two other men who are supposed to care about Alex.
In other words, the abuse Alex faces from Sean doesn't happen in a vacuum.
Alex is initially rescued by Nate (Raymond Ablack), a man who is in love with her and initially positions himself as her savior. He takes Alex and Maddy in, gives them food and housing, and even provides them with a car. But when Nate eventually seeks to cash in on his support for Alex by asking her out on a date, he's unable to comprehend her clear refusal: "I don't think I can be with anybody right now."
He also doesn't realize that he is putting her in a difficult position because of the vastly different power dynamics that underlie their situation.
"You are the only difference between us sleeping in a bed and sleeping in the streets," Alex explains. "It's not equal between us."
Nate just doesn't understand. "I don't really care about that stuff, I think you like me and I know I like you. That's equal, right?" he says.
Of course, if Nate's inability to take no for an answer didn't sufficiently burst his "nice guy" facade, his subsequent actions do. When he finds out Alex had a sexual encounter with Sean, Nate throws her and Maddy out. He never "loved" her or cared about her at all. His generosity was merely transactional, and when he didn't get what he wanted and saw evidence of another man having it, for whatever reasons that came about, Nate lost interest. His actions force mother and daughter to move back in with their abuser, and essentially proves Alex's point about the dangers that can come with highly unequal relationships like theirs.
Soon after Alex and Maddy return to Sean's house, it becomes clear he intends to entrap and refuse to let them leave. Because Nate has reclaimed the car he gave to Maddy, she's stuck once again with her abuser — all because she spurned another man's advances.
Meanwhile, the series shows that the pattern of abuse began with Alex's semi-estranged father Hank (Billy Burke), who is also an alcoholic. Throughout Alex's upbringing, he at times became abusive toward her and ends up enabling Sean to continue to abuse.
Hank actually bears witness to Sean's abusive behaviors and his alcoholism, but the two men bond and become close friends through attending the same AA meethngs. When Alex's custody of Maddy is on trial once again, Hank refuses to testify against Sean. Instead, he blames Alex for her own situation, a typical manipulative tactic by abusers to make victims remain victims.
Alex's eventual triumph at the end of "Maid" is all the more meaningful in the context of all the men who came together to try to ruin her.
Stories of abuse should take a page from "Maid"
"Maid" follows a growing and important trend of more nuanced, survivor-centric media representation of gender-based violence — specifically, as it lacks the typical, gratuitous displays of physical violence against a woman. For years, on-screen portrayals of domestic and gender-based abuse solely as physical acts have misled audiences into thinking this is the only legitimate form of abuse, and resulted in the toxic gatekeeping of the experiences of survivors.
But more recently, we've seen important change. The plucky, feminist adult cartoon "Tuca & Bertie," which in one episode explores a main character's ongoing trauma stemming from sexual assault, very deliberately excludes a scene of the assault, to instead center the survivor, and not allow anyone to judge or question the survivor's reaction to her trauma. The 2020 movie "Promising Young Woman," which follows one woman on a quest to avenge her friend who was sexually assaulted, centers almost entirely around the aftermath of the assault, without ever featuring it.
"Maid" furthers this trajectory of improving storytelling around gendered violence, by not only very deliberately excluding portrayals of physical violence, like the aforementioned projects, but also impressing upon audiences that domestic violence isn't just physical. Violence can also entail controlling someone's contact with the outside world, taking away their options, forcing them to choose between being with you or sleeping in the streets. As onscreen stories about gender and abuse continue to grow, explore new territories, and challenge long-held narratives, future stories should follow the example of "Maid," and shine light on the experiences and resilience of survivors of all kinds of violence.
"Maid" is currently streaming on Netflix.
