American Magnus Sheffield crashed just before Gino Mäder crashed at the 2023 Tour de Suisse and lost his life due to the injuries he sustained, and seven months later he broke his silence about the incident in a blog on the Ineos Grenadiers team website.
Sheffield, 21, spent three months out of competition last year because of the concussion he had from the crash and writes that he faced questions if he would continue racing after such a traumatic incident.
"Many people questioned if I would continue: how did the crash and what followed affect me? Would I still want to race or ride a bike? Would I still be the same rider?" he wrote.
"I took time with family and friends back home the weeks after I returned to the USA. I did not know exactly when I would return to Europe. The team was very supportive with giving me the time my body needed before beginning training again."
Sheffield penned the blog before making his season debut at the Volta ao Algarve, where he finished 15th on the opening stage and took the lead of the young rider classification. He said he hadn't spoken publicly about Mäder's crash because he wanted time to process the events.
"I feel open to share a few things from it. I remember just about everything of the day. From waking up in my bed in the morning of the stage, up until I came around after being wheeled from the operating room in the hospital.
"As a result of the crash, I was heavily concussed and experienced a window of what felt like unconsciousness. At that moment when I sat on the mountain side there were helicopters flying above ringing in my ears while I looked out on one of the most beautiful landscapes, as I saw riders and the race convoy passing down the Albula pass.
"I was confused seeing medical staff around a rider that I could only recognize the team jersey of at the time because I knew that I had crashed alone. Later on, after being transported from the scene, I was told Gino had been taken to a nearby hospital."
Mäder died shortly after due to a severe brain injury.
"Unfortunately, I had only raced with Gino a few times in our careers. I've been told he was an incredible person, and my thoughts remain with his family and friends," Sheffield writes.
"The crash reminded me of how fragile life can be. I feel incredibly lucky to be alive, to be able to walk, and even more fortunate to continue racing professionally."
While convalescing at home, Sheffield said he struggled when his father was watching the Tour de France because he felt like he was meant to be there racing.
"During my time at home, I looked through many pictures and memories from when I began riding, which helped me think about what I want to achieve in my career. I felt an immense appreciation for all the kind messages from people in the cycling world but also many outside of it that I have never met," he wrote.
"I am incredibly grateful for the support of my parents through that time. When you are so focused on something it is easy to lose touch with everything else that is going on around the world. It was the longest period I've spent in one place since elementary school."
Sheffield returned to the Tour of Britain, where he finished fourth overall and won the best young rider classification and repeated the result at the CRO Race.
"When I came back, I felt I had begun a new chapter in my career and in life," he wrote.
"I feel I've learned a lot about myself and professional racing over the past two seasons with the team, and I believe that I've gained a different perspective over the past year that has helped me through challenging times."
Sheffield said he feels "excited and motivated for the season ahead" - a year that will include Strade Bianche, Tirreno-Adriatico and the Classics.
"This year is special with the Olympic Games in Paris, where I'm very motivated to focus on the Individual time trial and Road Race. Another big goal for me is to ride my first Grand Tour, which we've planned to be the Giro d'Italia.
"The Tour de France is still the highlight of what I want to achieve in my career. I believe the Giro will be a good stepping stone to seeing how I perform over 21 stages."
Sheffield made a huge splash as a neo-pro, winning a stage of the Ruta del Sol and De Brabantse Pijl in 2022. He went winless in 2023 and says, "I have a deep feeling of wanting to win again after being so close many times last season. I want to target a World Tour stage race now that I know what it takes to wear the leader's jersey.
"Last year, I was consistent throughout the season and able to be among the strongest in the finals. I want to take another step with executing time trials and pushing how fast I can climb."
Sheffield will get his first test of his climbing speed on Thursday when the Volta ao Algarve hits the Alto da Fóia.
