Watching Miriam Margolyes and Frances Barber slug it out as mid-20th century acid-tongued lipstick queens Helena Rubinstein and Elizabeth Arden, is the main pleasure in John Misto’s play about two women who were deadly rivals but never met. There should be dramatic mileage in playing with that idea, particularly because both these grandes dames were not just self-made but almost entirely self-invented. But as so often at this venue an idea for a good play is sacrificed for one that is merely campily entertaining.
Margolyes has fun with Rubinstein – a woman who kept chicken legs in her safe to save on electricity and describes Psycho as a mother and son love story – and almost succeeds in making the monstrous quite winsome. Barber is diverting, too, as the waspish Arden, who leaves a cloud of vinegar behind her. Jonathan Forbes provides some emotional ballast as the gay Irish assistant who remains loyal to Rubinstein even when she treats him bad.
But Misto goes for easy laughs by playing to gay, Jewish and fat stereotypes and offloads volleys of one-liners like a firing squad without a target. There is potentially much about this story that reflects the social changes that affected women in that period and raises the question: were Rubinstein and Arden empowering, or merely exploiting their customers? But having two women trade bitchy insults for two hours doesn’t begin to cover it and neither does Jez Bond’s clunky, ill-designed production, which is hampered by endless scene changes.
• At Park theatre, London, until 27 May. Box office: 020-7870 6876.
