The Dallas Cowboys won't win the Super Bowl, but they already won the 2021 title.
According to Sportico, the Dallas Cowboys are now valued at $6.92 billion.
As Jerry Jones says, that's six-point-nahn-too, Belheon-dahlas.
The capital "B" is important.
When it comes to the most valuable team in North American sports, the Cowboys rank slightly ahead of the New York Yankees.
The 2021 Dallas Cowboys' season begins Thursday night with a game at the defending Super Bowl champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Playing the Super Bowl winners will be as close as the Cowboys come to winning the Super Bowl this season.
Former Dallas Cowboys team president Tex Schramm didn't value investing too much into the team's marketing department. His attitude was winning marketed the team, so that money went into scouting.
The Cowboys of today are a decent little team that will have an interesting season, which will end without a championship, but rather a ton of cash.
Revenue, not winning, is the Cowboys' priority.
So that's our Super Bowl trophy. Our team is worth a lot of money.
Whereas once the Dallas Cowboys were interesting because of their winning, they are now worth "a follow" because of our endless fascination with someone else's wealth.
Sportico projects that in 2021 the Dallas Cowboys will become "the first U.S. sports franchise to generate $1 billion in annual revenue."
That's a statement not only not worth celebrating, but one that also should be met with scorn, derision and introspection.
There is no T-shirt, pennant or trophy for that.
When a team, or, worse, a university, celebrates their value there is one winner and it's not you. They are not only not sharing that wealth but demanding more of yours knowing we will all fall for the trap of being associated with a brand that only takes.
A company that routinely produces a product so average and pulls in this type of money is an indictment of not only the management, but the consumer.
This all benefits the owner, and virtually no one else. Consider:
If the Dallas Cowboys were a restaurant, it would have closed years ago.
If the Dallas Cowboys were an appliance store that sold microwaves, it would have been converted to a Starbucks.
The Dallas Cowboys don't provide a caffeine kick, but rather they scratch an emotional itch. We simply can't help getting our fix no matter the cost.
That's how the Cowboys will make more than $1 billion in revenue this year.
Jerry has been called everything in the English language, but here is a new one. He's Marie-Antoinette, the queen who history has accused of saying "Let them eat cake" while her people died of starvation in 18th century France.
There is actually no evidence of Ms. Marie ever actually having said this. History says she was a young, well-meaning kid who simply was unaware.
Jerry wants to win, he wants fans to be happy and full of not cake but rather a CowboyRita.
He also wants their money, and he is ruthless in leveraging the lure of that blue and silver star for more. A quart of those CowboyRitas sells for $45, and must be ordered with food.
(We won't get into how it all ended for Ms. Antoinette. That won't happen here.)
Jerry is a good man who could convince a nun to become a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, and sell customers the hope that his football team will be a Super Bowl contender despite 25 years worth of evidence that it will not.
That's how a business that is now known for losing as many games as it wins will pull in $1 billion in revenue in 2021.
And, like the rest of you fools, I can't wait to watch.
I need my fix, too.
