I remember being in junior school and wondering if I was the only person who had thoughts. I would see the other kids in the playground and think: “Do they have thoughts or do they just run about?”
I feel sorry for people who have massive success when they’re young. I was 48 when Eats, Shoots & Leaves became a bestseller and that helped me deal with it. All the time it was happening I was thinking: “In 10 years’ time I’ll look back on this with fond memories,” because at the time I was quite anxious. I was also amused by it, because it was hilariously unlikely that a book of punctuation would be the number one bestseller in America.
I was a worrier. It said on my school report, “a tendency to fuss”. I was the one who said to the teacher: “Do you realise it’s raining and you haven’t covered up the sandpits?”
I grew up in a small council house and still think of myself as working class. I always wanted to write, but thought I hadn’t been born with the right certificate. It was in my 30s, once my father died and I was feeling a sense of futility, that I felt a great surge of determination to stop this ridiculous feeling. I did some therapy and it helped me to stop thinking I was unworthy.
I worked as a sports writer for four years and I got completely absorbed into that world and lost touch with my real interests. I remember a friend taking me to see Henry V at the Globe and I found it incomprehensible that everybody was sitting so quietly. No jumping and shouting. Sport started to feel very important. There’s this sense that history is being made and you have to be there to witness it. I’m back to normal now.
My two scary rescue cats inspired me to write two novels. With animals you’re always wondering, “What are they thinking?” I find it very easy to imagine that cats do have a plan on earth.
Being in my own home, on my own terms, is something I love. I think a lot of people do. We’re constantly told we mustn’t be on our own, but I think it’s a perfectly natural way to live – and I can watch as many episodes of Pointless as I like.
I don’t always spot missing apostrophes, I have to have them pointed out to me. People often bring me pictorial evidence of funny signs they’ve seen. The other day a friend sent me one which read: “Chickens keep dogs on lead.”
I’m the punctuation lady: it will be written on my tomb. But there are worse things to be remembered for, aren’t there?
The Lunar Cats by Lynne Truss is published on 17 November by Century, £9.99. To order a copy for £8.19, go to bookshop.theguardian.com
