My early life had a lot of love and a lot of joy, but a lot of turbulence. I was a kid who grew up very quickly as far as being responsible was concerned.
Nobody knows why my mother was given away as a child and nobody talks about it. That’s why she often couldn’t get out of bed in the morning, and why I had to take responsibility from a very early age.
My father drank because he was in a lot of pain. His father, who was a troubled man, but not a bad man, was himself an alcoholic who threw my dad out with no shoes on to get a job aged just 14. My father drank to numb his feelings. I understand that now.
I don’t think I’m emotionally grown up. Being in the music business from an early age sort of stunts your growth in that way.
Spirituality has helped me to exorcise my feelings. When my second marriage [to hair stylist John Frieda] finished I was in a very, very sad place. The bottom of my world had fallen out, but I wasn’t the type to let anyone know, so I’d just say: “It’s fine.” Now I try not to keep things so secret.
The big pop stars are all lonely, even with thousands of people screaming at them. You do have to feel sorry for that kid Zayn Malik. When I was a little bit younger than him I married Maurice Gibb, and looking back I can see we were drawn to each other because we were both lonely.
I no longer wake up most nights in a state of anxiety about ageing. It’s not how I look that worries me, it’s the physicality. What if I get really sick and my son has to take care of me? What about Alzheimer’s? What if my siblings get ill? Daily routines halt my mind, which can be like a washing machine and a tumble dryer going off at the same time.
I’m a member of the church of the universe. I don’t follow a religion, but I’ve had a spiritual guru since 1984. I could go to a mosque, to a synagogue, to the Catholic church, a Mormon church, a Protestant church; what I follow is non-denominational. I just pray to do the best I can do and to be the best I can be.
My Scottishness is even more deep-rooted in me now than when I lived in the country. They say that about the Celts: when they leave their hometowns they become even more patriotic. I’m definitely sentimental about it; I like to hold on to that part of me.
Success gives you an aura, but the best aura is one of serenity.
I don’t have a plan for the future. I’m just living in the present, concentrating on what’s going on right now. The only thing that I’m doing about the future is writing some more songs.
Lulu’s new album, Making Life Rhyme, is out now. Her UK tour starts on 15 May (gigst.rs/Lulu)
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