I always enjoy Rupert Murdoch’s how-very-dare-you moments, those occasions on which he draws himself up to his full ethical height. Last December he wrote a letter to this newspaper debunking as “fake news” a quote frequently attributed to him. You might have seen it (indeed, the former Times city editor who claims it was said to him stands by it): “When I go into Downing Street, they do what I say; when I go to Brussels, they take no notice.” Anyway, Rupert was having none of it, in a missive in which he declared: “I have made it a principle all my life never to ask for anything from a prime minister.” Who could fail to enjoy this pen portrait of a mannerly figure who finds requests beneath him?
The obvious point about Murdoch has always been that he doesn’t have to ask. He is largely second-guessed, and fearfully so. As mentioned here before, when I worked at the Sun I once had a four-sentence diary item about Barbra Streisand pulled on the basis that some years previously an editor had noticed a Barbra Streisand CD on one of Murdoch’s desks, and concluded that he was a fan. Murdoch, obviously, had never said anything to this effect. Listen, he has made it a principle all his life never to ask people to not write faintly sarcastic things about Barbra Streisand.
From editors to prime ministers, those charged with giving it to them tend to know what the Murdochs want, and typically oblige as surreptitiously as possible – presumably because they know they shouldn’t, really. Margaret Thatcher invited him several times to family Christmas at Chequers, and treated him as a Reaganesque friend – and yet she never mentions him once in her memoirs. Quite a thing to leave out, considering all she gifted him.
This week, however, someone declined to hand over their valuables. The culture secretary, Karen Bradley, has been considering the bid by Murdoch’s 21st Century Fox for the remaining 61% of Sky that it doesn’t own. Ofcom – so wet that it’s the regulatory equivalent of Ross from Friends – had advised her to refer the bid to the competition watchdog on grounds of plurality, a situation the Murdochs would easily have handled. But Bradley has disagreed, saying she has decided to refer the bid to the competition watchdog too, on the grounds of “non-fanciful” concerns about the Murdochs’ commitment to broadcasting standards. (I do love that mild “non-fanciful”, suggesting your nagging worry that news channels probably shouldn’t routinely air iniquitous conspiracy theories isn’t the sign of insanity you worried it was.)
Karen’s letters to Ofcom raise the hyperpartisan nature of Fox News, the channel’s repulsive role in the Seth Rich murder coverage, and the fact that what feels like half its wingnut male anchors have been accused of being total sex cases (I paraphrase the secretary of state’s correspondence slightly).
Vaguely remembering having mentioned Karen before, I did a search and see I described her then as “a former KPMG tax manager, an epithet I fell literally asleep in the middle of”. Oh dear. As so often with what we might laughably term my work, that was obviously the sign that Karen might be worth waking up for. As she has proved with this decision. It’s not hard to look good in this week for the government, which has featured sensational incompetence, historic cravenness and several appearances by Andrea Leadsom. But even in the best week, Bradley’s decision would have stood out as remarkable.
Naturally, it would take a heart of stone not to howl at how cross it has made the Murdochs. In a panel discussion on Thursday, James Murdoch managed to ungrit his teeth long enough to reveal how much he was looking forward to going through the regulatory process, while pointedly pointing out his main point: post-Brexit Britain is going to need this deal. “So if the UK truly is open for business post-Brexit,” he said, (though he might just as easily have written the words in a note pinned to the severed head of Karen’s pony), “we look forward to moving through the regulatory review process, and this transformational transaction for the UK creative sector becoming an affirmation of that claim.”
In one sense, this gambit should appeal to the Tories, coming straight out of their playbook. The Conservatives have specifically devoted the past couple of years to breaking stuff, then informing the country that only they can fix it. And so with the Murdochs, whose populist papers pushed relentlessly against the dastardly EU for decades, yet are now keen to point out how much the country is going to need the Murdochs’ business now Brexit’s pushing it towards the financial shitter (again, I paraphrase slightly): only they can fix us.
As for how this will all shake down, let’s not get overexcited. Not only have reports of Murdoch’s influence had more farewell tours than the aforementioned Barbra, but the task of running a complex, high-profile and political probe into Fox’s boardroom and editorial cultures could very well be beyond the competition watchdog. But either way, Rupert Murdoch is now doing what news pundits always call “facing a lengthy wait”. And still people say he has nothing in common with Jerry Hall. (How-very-dare-you letters to the usual address, please.)
