Lube – once dismissed as something only used by the perpetually horny or older folks is finally getting the recognition it deserves. And it’s about time too! This magical goo has the power to revolutionise all of our sex lives. Interested? Here’s what everyone should know about lube.
Who can use lube?
Anyone and everyone! No matter your age, gender, sexuality, whether you have health concerns or are as fit as a fiddle, are single, in a couple, throuple, having solo sex or going to an orgy, you can use lube.
It’s especially brilliant for people who experience vaginal dryness – a perfectly normal part of being a woman or vulva-having person that can be down to anything from stress and menopause to the medications you’re taking.
But lube isn’t just a very efficient problem-solver, it’s also sex-life enhancer. That’s why it’s a staple in many a bedside drawer.
What are the different types of lubes?
With so many types and options, where to start? Water-based is the most popular. Kynect (that’s the new name for KY, the brand most synonymous with lube) describes it as “most similar to the body’s natural wetness”. It doesn’t get sticky, is easy to clean up and can be used for everything from touching to penetration. It’s safe to use with most condoms and sex toys. And, if you go for a gentle, paraben-free lube such as Kynect, it doesn’t upset the vagina’s natural pH.
Silicone-based is thicker and longer-lasting. It’s often recommended for anal sex (unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate), but it can’t be used with silicone sex toys as it causes them to degrade.
Oil-based had its moment, but you don’t see it around as much these days. It’s not safe for use with condoms because it causes them to break down.
What are the benefits of using lube?
Look, it just feels really good. It makes everything slip and slide around easily, which leads to a more enjoyable experience all around.
Of course, friction can feel good. But it can be painful if you experience vaginal dryness or are having anal sex. Lube gives you an extra layer of comfort, which makes sex more pleasurable and reduces the risk of soreness or tearing. It also makes condoms less likely to break.
It’s not just about the physical benefits, though. Using lube during solo and partnered sex can help you relax, get out of your head and focus purely on the sensation (mindful masturbation is a sex trend for a reason).
Using lube can help you connect with your partner, strengthen your communication skills, and build trust and intimacy. It’s also a really simple and cheap way to introduce playfulness to your sex life. Something we so often forget is that sex is meant to be fun!
How do you use lube?
You can apply it directly on to skin, genitals, nipples, condoms or dental dams. But beware, lube can be very cold. To avoid a potential mood-ruining shock, squeeze it into your hand first and warm it up between your fingers.
When using a water-based lube such as Kynect, which is safe for everyday use, you can reapply to your heart’s (and body’s) content.
Is lube safe for sensitive skin?
Not all lube is created equal. Novelty and cheaper products often contain ingredients that aren’t considered body-safe, ie they’re not great for your skin. Go for water-based lubes such as Kynect, which are gentle and free of parabens, perfume and flavourings.
With any new lube, test a drop on a small area first and avoid using it on broken or inflamed skin. Stop using it if you do experience discomfort, and see a doctor if the irritation continues.
How do you ask your partner to use lube?
We all know communication is the key to great sex, but it’s much easier said than done. Here are some tips:
1 Have any conversations about sex outside of the bedroom. Starting one during sex will likely catch your partner off guard and make them feel vulnerable.
2 Be honest and kind. If you experience vaginal dryness or discomfort, tell your partner. If you’re suggesting lube because you want to try something new, focus on the positives rather than what you think your sex life is “lacking”, or what your partner is doing “wrong”.
3 Ask your partner how they feel – and really listen.
4 Get their full, enthusiastic consent before skipping off to the nearest supermarket arm-in-arm.
And finally, remember, using lube really isn’t a big deal. It doesn’t mean you don’t fancy your partner or that there’s anything wrong with you. It just means you’re up for having better, more pleasurable sex. So hats off to you! We’ll see you in the toiletries aisle.
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