Love it or hate it, every night millions of people observe, discuss and analyse the relationships and interactions between the contestants on Love Island.
While it's important to keep in mind that the show is highly edited and produced, there is still much that can be learnt by watching as an outside observer about how romantic relationships bloom and grow in real life.
Particularly regarding so-called red flags: early worrying signs to look out for when dating that indicate something isn’t quite right.
Early on, Toby repeatedly expressed an inability to understand his own feelings or deal with his emotions.
Toxic masculinity and the pervasive idea that expressing and discussing feelings is a "women’s thing" makes this a common red flag.
Many men are similarly emotionally immature and without the tools to deal with their own feelings or other people's.
We have watched as Toby has begun to learn these tools, but not without hurting numerous women’s feelings along the way.
Emotionally immature men can learn and grow, but far too many times, women’s feelings will be sacrificed along the way.
Many of the men - Tyler, Liam and Toby at times - have demonstrated a lack of accountability for their own feelings and actions. They have tried to blame the women for making them feel a certain way, calling them “traps” or saying “not many people could hold back”.
During the recoupling after Casa Amor, Liam used language that made it sound as if Lillie instigated everything and he was a passive, even unwilling, party. This kind of lack of responsibility for their own actions and feelings is a huge red flag for future misbehaviour as it indicates that the person is trying to minimise the behaviour and escape blame.
The gaslighting, possessiveness, and manipulation demonstrated by Danny in the villa was such that Women’s Aid felt the need to release a statement about it.
Even in his short time in the villa, he demonstrated many red flags. He made fun of Lucinda, used possessive and objectifying language about her (such as comparing her to a broken down matte black Lamborghini) and made her fearful of “mugging him off”.
He seemed more concerned about his pride and ego than anything else. He suggested that anyone that crosses him would regret it, which could be read as an indirect threat designed to make people fearful of his reactions and behave accordingly.
He was often openly hostile and spoke aggressively towards both Aaron and Lucinda, acting in a jealous manner very quickly. It also emerged that he had used racist language on social media.
While it was too early to identify an abusive pattern, such behaviour was very concerning and shouldn’t be normalised on a dating show.
We have all seen what happened with Faye and Teddy but the warning signs were also there from the beginning. Faye has long been open about her insecurities around commitment and fear of vulnerability. She has picked holes in their relationship, saying Teddy isn’t funny and couldn’t handle her family, while also saying she isn’t good enough for him and is afraid of being someone’s girlfriend.
She seems unable to emotionally handle a healthy relationship, driving her to self-sabotage and harmful behaviour.
We shouldn’t forget that Love Island is a reality TV show, we as viewers are not seeing every part of who the contestants are and the producers are pushing certain contestants to act in certain ways.
But as a show about dating, it can be a great resource and should be used to raise the bar on the behaviour we expect from romantic partners.
*Love Island continues tonight at 9pm on ITV2
