Over on the blinding white-couch, Amy is sharing a heartwarming story about having her appendix removed. Curtis gazes at her, half-besotted, half-confused as to what an "appendix" is exactly. "Right now me and Tommy are the gods of the villa," he says (to camera – not to Amy). This sounds slightly more sinister than he presumably intended.
But...hey... watch out Joe...! Boxer Tommy is having sneaky chats with Curtis about Lucie. "Tonight there's going to be a few heartbreaks." It looks like Joe is in for a sidewinder straight to the heart (sorry, we tried to think of a sandwich metaphor but it's late and, in further bad new for Joe, there isn't much interesting about sandwiches).
Also on a potentially downward trajectory is Callum whose mission to bore Amber senseless is going down a treat. That is what he is trying to do, isn't it?
Speaking of Joes... well here's Sandwich Merchant Joe – confessing to being head-over -heels for Lucie. But is the feeling reciprocated? "The more I get to know him – he gets hotter," says Lucie, who has stopped using made-up words such as "Bev". Thank you Lucie, thank you.
The real tension tonight of course revolves around Tommy and Curtis, who each pick a partner at the end of the episode. Which will leave two jilted Joes. Who's for the heave?
Bedtime! The freshly-paired couples are clambering into their Teletubby-hued cots. We've cut to grainy reality TV night vision – usually a signal something potentially icky is about to happen. So far tonight, though, the real charge is the mutual appreciation between Anton (owns a gym, mum waxes his bum) and Tommy (a boxer, brother to a more famous boxer).
It's banter-on-the couch o'clock on the island. Curtis wants to know if Amy can dance. "As in actual dance" he clarifies, which sounds weirdly specific. "That's my forte," he tango titan, which sounds like an innuendo but hopefully isn't.
Hello and welcome to The Independent's live coverage of Love Island episode two!
Love Island had a swoon-worthy opening with a record 3.7 million tuning into the first episode on ITV2.
We’ve been introduced to scientist Yewande, chef Sherif, firefighter Michael and others. The unintentional zinger of the evening went to Airdrie gym owner Anton who confessed to a medical condition – his “wandering eye” – and to having once been caught having a threesome by his mum.
He’s paired off with Amy. The other initial couples are Lucie and Joe, Amber and Callum, Sherif and Anna and Yewande and Michael. One familiar face – well voice – is Scottish comedian Iain Stirling, whose pithy commentary will have given viewers something to cling to when the “banter” got out of hand.
The competitors will spend the next eight weeks looking for love (though with an eye also presumably peeled on the £50,000 cheque the winning couple will share). But there’s a long way to go before they reconnect with civilisation. In the meantime, for audience and participant alike, the excitement is just starting.
Love Island airs every weekday and Sunday at 9pm on ITV2.
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