Love Island catch up: 3 talking points after twins Jess and Eve pick Mike and Callum to couple up with
There’s a bit of a bizarre love pentangle situation on episode two of ITV2’s heat ’n heartache blockbuster. Twins Jess and Eve have parachuted into Love Islandunder strict instructions to cruelly wrench two of the boys from their doting partners. From the outset it’s clear they’ll pick Callum and Mike – and that Callum and Mike are very much up for being cruelly wrenched from their doting partners.
But Callum’s other half, Shaughna, is massively unimpressed and signals her disquiet by sucking the lips off her squeeze in the run-up to the big decision. Her demonstration of affection is loud, off-putting if you’re trying to snaffle a sneaky bowl of cereal and reminiscent of one of those face-huggers from Aliens. And it doesn’t do her any good anyway, as he’s all about Eve almost straight afterwards. Here are the other major talking points.
1: Love Island is in a bit of a rut
Banter, a kiss-and-tell game show, and a big choice at the end of the hour. Such is the formula to which Love Island has rigorously adhered across previous seasons and here we go again in South Africa.
The problem is that, as yet, the series has yet to cough up a break-out personality to make us ignore how predictable it all is. Mike, the likeliest of lads, is the closest to a star so far. But even he is essentially thoughtful and sensible. Good for him – not great for ITV ratings you suspect.
2: Do half the contestants even want to be on Love Island?
Leanne woke from her trance long enough to snog Mike during the tea-based kiss-and-tell competition (yes that is a thing). Otherwise she seemed perfectly happy in the background. Ditto Sophie, Paige, Cheatin’ Ollie, Connor of the wonder-teeth…. All are clearly appreciative of the free winter break in South Africa. But none is visibly burning up with desire to win Love Island.
3: Will Jess and Eve turn on one another?
Flickers of tension broke out between the twins as they weighed up which of the boys they wanted to pick (both fancied Mike). Obviously nobody in the real world would want to see sisters falling out. But unless a wedge of some sort is driven through their alliance it’s hard to see where the contrived conflict that is the lifeblood of reality TV will come from. Shaughna looks properly annoyed with Callum – but he had no say in whether or not he was chosen so a split there hardly yields oodles of dramatic potential. Winter Love Island is in danger of freezing over slightly.
Good evening, and welcome to tonight's Love Island blog. We're back to offer you more dripping sarcasm and scathing commentary as this year's contestants look for "the one" while the world watches.
In the last episode, we saw the first batch of singles couple up, only to be told that twins Jess and Eve, who arrived at the last minute (#doubletrouble) will get to pick the two guys they fancy the most, leaving two girls "single and vulnerable". Duh duh duhhhhhhhh....
Here are three of the biggest talking points from the first episode:
Sophie and Connor seem smitten already
After they coupled up, Sophie and Connor seemed for form an immediate bond as the rest of the contestants settled into the villa. That said, Connor had a little bit of a sulk after Sophie made fun of his revelation that he once had a threesome after going on a first date with someone. Perhaps it's not true love after all.
Posh boy Ollie has a “child in sweetshop” vibe
While he initially seemed very taken with 22-year-old Paige, landowner Ollie definitely has a roving eye. He's already asked Siannise if she might be interested in anyone else (meaning him), and later managed to spill his drink everywhere upon seeing twins Jess and Eve arrive at the end of the night.
Speaking of twins...
Jess and Eve are clearly here to cause trouble. The students and VIP hostesses arrived at the end of the night, after the other contestants had coupled up. In the next episode, they'll be asked to pick two guys they fancy, meaning two other girls will be left “single and vulnerable”. Uh oh.
Here's some of Sean O'Grady's review from the series launch:
The tensions on the ITV2 show are as palpable as ever; the emotional immaturity painful to observe. Love Island is the mating game, hopeful singles looking for “the one”, but with added intensity. After all, there’s a £50,000 prize and a couple of years of D-list celebrity at stake before the nervous breakdown. In the meantime, maybe they’ll bag a week or two on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here; a guest spot on The Chase; an appearance at Southwark Crown Court charged with affray after a misunderstanding at a night club...
The vacuous and otherwise forgettable Something Flack has been replaced by Laura Someone. Otherwise the “winter series” is more of the same: fancy villa, champagne, gorgeous but oddly unsexy young people doing sod-all in swimwear.
Mike, in his tropical two-piece, used to be footballer and is now a police officer. He's coupled up with Leanne, but he’d rather, one suspects, be fussed over by The Twins – Eve and Jess Gale. Eve and Jess are students and VIP hostesses and, inevitably, blonde. I think Mike is under the impression that they are a package deal, a sort of buy-one get-one-free offer. In due course, I am confident he will be told to BOGOF himself.
The Love Islander I like the least is wealthy heir Ollie, who has been in the papers recently for shooting dumb animals, which is quite ironic once you get to meet him. The girl who was forced to couple up with him – blonde singer Paige Turley – immediately tried to dump him for a coffee bean salesman (not a euphemism) by the name of Connor. Connor tells us he flew to Thailand because he saw something on the web about getting whiter teeth, but he came back with a gob like Princess Anne. Money well spent, Connor, money well spent.
Every time I write something about Love Island, I get comments along the lines of: “If you hate it so much why do you watch it?” Of course, the obvious answer to that is that I’m employed to review bad television, and if someone wasn’t paying me to endure it of course I wouldn’t be watching Love Island. What’s your excuse?
Because I've been thinking about nothing else in the past 24 hours I am now convinced that last night's launch episode of Winter Love Island was exactly like Game of Thrones. There's the obsession with seasons – and also that twist in the end featuring twins. Granted, VIP hostesses Eve and Jess didn't shove any children out any windows – let's wait for Britain's Got Talent to return shall we – but they did have a bombshell. They're coupling up with two of the boys...who already have partners. So much tension, so early in the year....
Eve – possibly Jess – is sharing her thoughts with the rest of the girls. Shaughna can't believe that ladies will now be set against ladies. Now Mike has asked to borrow the twins "for a chat". Mike – we haven't even got to the first ad break!
Callum, Mike and Connor are grilling the twins. The boys are shocked Jess and Eve are students. Within earshot, Shaughna honestly can't believe they're all getting on so well. But she's "like a Power Ranger" so she will pull through. Because Power Rangers are known for their romantic prowess. Now it's bedtime and one of the twins has promised "not to make any rash romantic decisions". What's she doing on Love Island?
What do we think of the series so far this year? I don't know about Ed, but I'm finding it pretty dull. Barely any of the contestants seem to possess anything resembling a personality and Laura Whitmore seems very nervous in her hosting role...
Ad break! Time to draw breath and wonder what Shaughna being a Power Ranger might look like. Would she morph with the other contestants to form a super-islander, looming over Cape Town and chasing Laura Whitmore aand Iain Stirling back to the airport? Might bring back those missing 800,000 viewers, eh ITV?
Poolside the twins are discussing potential picks. Mike is top of their joint wishlist. Over at the breakfast bar, Paige is still trying to stay awake when conversing with Ollie. Apparently he cuts down trees as part of his job as a gentleman gardener. This is appropriate as, judging so far, he has a personality made largely of plywood.
Where has all last night's negative energy between Sophie and Connor gone? Bean-boy "doesn't want to know" anyone else, he tells his partner. But hello...here are the twins and they've dragged him away for a chat. Sophie won't like that. Shaughna is even more miffed when Callum is likewise summoned. "Will I drown my sorrows or just drown?" she wonders. She is feeling properly threatened by Jess and Eve.
And now it's Mike's turn. They're rounding up every male contestant on the island! You can't question their thoroughness. "You're twins," he says, slightly redundantly.
