This blogpost was changed on January 9 to properly attribute the first set of quotes, by a Customs and Excise spokesman. These had previously been attributed, incorrectly, to a Unipart spokesman.
Management consultants are traditionally about as welcome among the general workforce of a company as an outbreak of gastric flu.
And the reputation of the profession has not been notably boosted by the work of consultants at a major Customs and Revenue office in north Tyneside, a project which chiefly seems to consist of showing staff how to tidy their desks.
According to the Newcastle Journal, consultants have been making workers at the Longbenton complex use black tape to mark out correct places on their desks for keyboards, staplers and the like, allowing them to be easily reached.
The newspaper provides a handy photograph of such a new model desk.
The consultants are Unipart, described on their website, somewhat cryptically, as a "pioneer of lean thinking".
A Customs and Excise spokesman told the paper that Unipart's efforts were intended to simplify the workspace and keep desks free of non-essential items.
"Staff involved have confirmed they prefer the tidier workspace," he said.
Not so, if you believe the Public and Commercial Services Union, who told another report that the whole process was "demoralising and demeaning" for staff.
A union spokesman - who said Unipart were being paid more than £7m to spread their ideas around Customs and Revenue offices nationwide - explained that the consultants could sometimes get even more zealous:
"We had a situation in some offices in Scotland where staff were asked: 'Is that banana on your desk active or inactive?', meaning were they going to eat it? If not, it had to be cleared away."
The union's branch secretary at Longbenton, Kevin McHugh, also pointed out a seemingly significant drawback to the plan - many of the desks are shared:
"If the person coming in after you has longer arms, he will have to move the markers.
This office has been open for 60 years and people have managed to find their pens and staplers without consultants helping them in that time."
