On 5 July this year my world was turned upside down. Until then I was an average 28-year-old, married with two children and a full-time job, juggling the stresses of everyday life.
But that morning I woke up to find my husband Daniel missing. He had suffered with his mental health for a long time, but I still did not expect what had happened. Daniel had taken his own life.
My world was thrown into a spiral. So many questions were unanswered and an uncertain life now faced my family.
Daniel left a lengthy note, mostly comprised of statements depicting his state of mind. But there was one element of his letter which really stayed with me: “You weren’t able to save me but you can try and save someone else,” he wrote. This sentence swam around in my head and the day after Daniel’s death, I set up a charity called The DPJ Foundation to support others suffering from mental health problems in Wales. I wanted to use his name to make a difference.
We decided that our work would focus on Pembrokeshire, a rural area with particular disadvantages for those suffering with mental health problems. It is a community where everyone knows everyone and admitting your supposed frailties isn’t an option. Mental health problems are too often perceived as a weakness and just not talked about.
Pembrokeshire also has a huge agricultural community. Agricultural occupations carry some of the highest rates [pdf] of suicide. Farming is a male-dominated [pdf] industry and one of high stress, especially in recent times as rates of bovine tuberculosis hit crisis level and many farmers face plummeting milk prices.
So far the DPJ Foundation has raised £11,000 through donations and fundraising events. Initially this money is being used to train people within the agricultural sector in mental health awareness. By training vets, feed reps and others who work in the industry, it is hoped we can give them the tools to support those they see on a daily basis. It is widely known that farmers are a stubborn breed and we hope that by taking the support to them, rather than waiting for people to seek it themselves, we can provide help for those in need.
The DPJ Foundation is very much in the early stages of its development, but we already have plans for counselling support and group support work next year.
We hope that another family will not have to suffer the loss mine has.
In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14. Hotlines in other countries can be found here.
The day I made a difference is the Guardian Voluntary Sector Network’s series that showcases the work of people involved with charities. If you have a story you want to share, email voluntarysectornetwork@theguardian.com with a short summary of your experience.
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