Name: Lorraine Kelly v Esther McVey.
Age: It goes back to the 90s.
And who won? Well, it’s not entirely clear.
One presents morning TV, the other wants to lead the country over the cliff. Why are they even in the same ring? Well, as you must surely know by now, during a live link to ITV’s Lorraine from Good Morning Britain, on which McVey was a guest, Susanna Reid asked: “Do you remember Esther McVey from her GMTV days?”
McVey used to be on TV, too … she must have taken drugs! This is not a drug story – it’s about Kelly’s response.
Which was? “Yeah, yes I do,” she said, before moving very swiftly on to what was coming up on her show.
This is where Piers Morgan butts in? Obviously … try to keep Reid’s co-host out: “So you got on with Esther then, Lorraine?”
And she told him to butt back out again and mind his business? Sadly, no. She said: “I don’t remember, love, I don’t remember at all, it was an awful long time ago.”
Ooh, they hate each other! People have been comparing it to the Mariah Carey/JLo feud.
Just remind us. It started in the 90s when Carey was asked, in a TV interview, what she thought of Jennifer Lopez, and she replied: “I don’t know her,” and a meme was born. And rumours of a feud that may exist only in the minds of fans. They have always denied it.
Is it possible that Kelly simply supports Matt Hancock? How have you heard of him? No one has.
I just looked him up. There was also the question of whether it was Lorraine Kelly or “Lorraine Kelly”.
What the hell is that supposed to mean? In a tribunal earlier this year, Lorraine Kelly argued that the on-screen version of Kelly isn’t actually herself but “Lorraine Kelly”.
Eh? Basically, by arguing she was essentially playing a character (even if it is quite closely based on herself) she saved herself a lot of tax.
That’s outrageous! Also probably irrelevant, as Boris is going to win and he is going to cancel tax for all but the very poor.
Very true. Also, she doesn’t play “Lorraine Kelly” very well. Certainly not well enough to pretend not to loathe McVey.
To be honest, Judi Dench may struggle with that. Also true.
It’s not “Esther McVey” we’re talking about here is it? No, just Esther McVey.
Do say: “Tell us what you’ve got coming up in your show, Lorraine.”
Don’t say: “Fight fight fight fight fight.”
