Has there ever been a more devastating analysis than Danny Dyer’s of our former prime minister? It’s the final word in the nation’s ultimate caption competition: David Cameron sitting on the steps of his 20 grand shed. Trotters up. Here he is again, as tanned as classy furniture, on his way home from a sun-soaked (© the Mirror) £1,700 a night luxury resort in Costa Rica. I want to know what you get for that kind of money. But first, the urgent business – trotters up.
I thought the image to end them all was Caitlin Moran’s, when she said before the 2010 election that he looked like a C3PO made of ham. That was a calmer era, when we had space to be multidimensional. You have to delve into your robot knowledge and separate C3PO from R2D2 to really appreciate its accuracy. No time for that now. There he is. In Waitrose, with his trotters up.
Look, anyone can make a mistake: it takes a particular constellation of fortune, indolence, privilege and power to make a mistake as consequential as his, but it’s not the first mistake in history. Someone fed a gremlin after midnight. Other people have accidentally started chemical reactions that triggered nuclear explosions. Granted, this is mainly in films. Still, if there’s one thing people love as much as they hate error, it’s remorse. If Cameron had shown a trace of penitence, it might be OK. Instead, he told the BBC on Wednesday morning : “I don’t regret calling the referendum ... I regret we lost, I deeply regret it ... I regret the difficulties and the problems we’ve been having trying to implement the results of that referendum.” Or in other words: “That thing I did that had only two possible outcomes. I don’t regret it at all. I just deeply regret that one of the outcomes happened.” There he is. Trotters up.
