A match on a dating app turned Kim Duke’s life upside down. In the three years since she met Sandeep Seesarun the chef and cookery writer has swapped south London for life on the south coast, set up her own restaurant, which would have been an impossibility in the capital, and got married.
Kim, 32, moved from her native Newcastle to London to study cookery at the University of West London, and went on to work at a string of fashionable restaurants — most recently she was head chef at Bao in Borough Market.
When she met Sandeep, 40, she had pivoted into events catering, and was working a gruelling 70-hour week. Home was a rented one-bedroom flat in Lewisham which cost her £1,250pcm. “I felt I was living to work rather than working to live,” she says.
Sandeep was already living in Hastings and on her rare days off Kim would travel down to see him, enjoying the beach, the café culture, and the restaurants that the increasingly cool seaside town has to offer.
“One day he took me to Hastings Old Town and I thought it was really beautiful,” says Kim. “And it is full of all sorts of independent businesses.”
After six months or so of long distance Kim was feeling exhausted from all the travelling, and burned out from her long-hours working life.
In October 2023 she decided to throw caution to the wind and move to East Sussex, staying in an Airbnb for a month before moving into a £550pcm flat share in St Leonards, just along the coast, with an old friend from the Bao kitchen.
Living with Sandeep wasn’t possible since he is a live-in social care worker and his employer provides him with a flat. Kim would be allowed to move in but her two cats, Jeremy and Mutton, would not be welcome, which means the couple currently live apart.
Kim started freelancing for local restaurants, and then set up a micro-bakery in the kitchen of a pub whose landlord she had made friends with.
“Sandeep taught me how to play poker, and we all get together on a Tuesday to play,” says Kim. “There is a surprisingly big poker community down here and that is how it happened.”
As Kim began building up foodie contacts Sandeep spotted a restaurant to rent in a prime seafront spot in the Old Town and thought it would make a great space for Kim.
They pooled their life savings and in May 2024 Tonka opened its doors, serving a revolving menu inspired by Sandeep’s native Mauritius made using British produce (@tonkahastings).
Despite having a good career in London, and having authored two cookbooks, Kim knows that opening her own restaurant would have been an impossible dream in London.
In Hastings her rent on the restaurant is £1,100pcm. A similar sized space in Lewisham would be three times the price, she says.
“And the produce we can get here, for the price we get it at, is incomparable to London.”
Right now the restaurant is taking up a lot of Kim’s time and energy — although she did find the time to travel to Mauritius to marry Sandeep in November 2024.
At home the couple spend their time off on the beach, hanging out in cafes, and exploring local restaurants.
“If the weather is nice it feels like we have a Mediterranean lifestyle,” says Kim.
