The funniest standup I’ve ever seen
This isn’t technically a standup, but I saw Nick Mohammed as his alter ego Mr Swallow during one of my first visits to Edinburgh and I basically just screamed for an hour.
The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen
The Pre-Taped Call In Show or The Audition from [90s US comedy] Mr Show. I wish I’d thought of them.
The funniest person I know
Adam Hess. He thinks that if you swallow enough chewing gum you go from being left-handed to being right-handed, and vice versa, but he is my best friend anyway.
The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen
I still maintain that Looney Tunes is the funniest programme ever made.
The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten
When I was about six years old I decided to make a teddy bears’ picnic in our dining room, so I set up 10 dolls and teddy bears around the table and made them each an apricot jam sandwich. It was only when I sat down that I realised I’d made 10 apricot jam sandwiches for 10 inanimate objects, and that I’d have to eat them all. It was sort of funny but also quite horrible.
The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny
When kids try to make YouTube videos, but then a wardrobe or cabinet falls on their head and the video just ends. You know they must be OK, though, or who would have uploaded the video?
The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had
When I was in Year 10 I saw a girl on X Factor with a really great, huge afro, so I went to the hairdresser’s to get a weave and achieve the same look. She somehow convinced me to get coloured extensions that were way too short, so I ended up looking like Annie.
The funniest joke I’ve ever heard
Q: Why does a giraffe have a long neck? A: So it can’t smell its feet! As if that’s why! Get real!
