If ever a reality show was lockdown-ready, it was The Circle – where being stuck inside an Salford apartment block with only social media for company is just SO 2020s.
And now it comes with the added razzle-dazzle of celebrities.
The Celebrity Circle for Stand Up to Cancer on C4 is basically a popularity contest, which, let’s be honest, is the aim of all reality shows.
Fighting for favour as it kicks off are Denise Van Outen, Duncan James, rapper Lady Leshurr, YouTuber Saffron Barker, Drag Race star Baga Chipz, Loose Women Kaye Adams and Nadia Sawalha, DJs Rickie Haywood-Williams and Melvin Odoom and reality show mates Sam Thompson and Pete Wicks.
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They have to communicate solely through a voice-activated platform called The Circle, leading to everyone feeling increasingly isolated, paranoid and panicky.
In a shaming snapshot of modern society, everyone is addicted to their screens, waiting for messages, analysing emojis and judging each other.
Occasionally, Emma Willis talks to them from a control centre that looks like a Big Brother Diary Room (may it rest in peace).
People are blocked, alliances are formed and catfishing is positively encouraged.
It’s all quite horrifying if you think about it, but also utterly gripping.
Descending immediately into confusion, Lady Leshurr is pretending to be Big Narstie, while Rickie and Melvin are playing as will.i.am, Baga Chipz is channelling Kim Woodburn, Kaye and Nadia are The GC, and Sam and Pete are Countdown’s Rachel Riley.
Duncan, one of only three people “being himself”, is the first to be blocked – for not being genuine.
Yes, it’s all bonkers. Saffron, aged just 20, has no idea who Denise or Duncan is, but declares: “Aww, Denise is the same age as my mum!” Ouch.
Elsewhere, Nadia and Kaye cackle away in their kaftans as “Gemma Collins” flirts with “Big Narstie”.
After Duncan’s exit, in swans Geordie Shore’s very own mysterious girl Charlotte Crosby, playing (quite badly) Peter Andre.
Denise is wondering why her mate Gemma is suddenly calling her “Dens”. Pete and Sam have nearly messaged “we” instead of “I” about 17 times.
During a vote, Leshurr refuses to budge on her decision. “I’m not changing my answer. I’m not a fake,” she rages, under her fake persona.
Everyone has clearly lost all sense of reality and perspective by this point, which makes for excellent television.
Only two episodes to go of this addictive goldfish bowl TV experiment and the
truth will out.
Circle, excited emoji, end message.
