“I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?” pondered Chastity in the teen classic 10 Things I Hate About You.
On Sunday, the Liberal National party (LNP) set out to try to answer this question in a low-key campaign launch where the applause was obedient and the cheers muted.
Eschewing federal counterparts and even a proper song for entrance, the premier, Campbell Newman, was introduced by his deputy, Jeff Seeney, who in turn was introduced by the treasurer, Tim Nicholls. The deputy prime minister, Warren Truss, was relegated to a no-speaking role with the room taking on a distinct “locals only” feel.
Newman, having declared his aversion to handholding with the prime minister as a reason for him not being at the launch, strode out purposefully hand in hand with his wife, Lisa.
How times change for Tony Abbott, once the Jay Z of the party, he has been relegated to dad band status: everyone says they love it but don’t seem to want be anywhere near it. In 2012 he not only attended the Queensland campaign launch as the federal opposition leader but also delivered a jubilant speech to the party faithful.
The whole shebang had the air of people whose duty it was to be enthusiastic but who would rather be spending the 35-degree day at the beach, like hungover parents at a five-year-old’s birthday party.
Loud noises were avoided, the speeches were delivered in measured tones and the only spark present was Lisa Newman who is one of those rare people who, when she nods, you really believe that nod. People clapped at the right times – whenever Newman’s name was mentioned and the “strong plan” referred to – though there seemed to be dash of spontaneity, potentially unnervingly so for the premier, when applause started at the mention of the health minister Lawrence Springborg’s name.
Starting at 11am, it was over by 11.56am with the obligatory standing ovation, a brief smile and wave from the premier and an exit on stage right. An LNP premier cannot be seen to be turning left after all.
Overall, a whelming affair.
