And so to what I believe might be referred to as a crowd-sourcing exercise, wherein Lost in Showbiz readers are asked to isolate and send in the week's single most brimstone-beckoning clause in British showbiz news.
To start the ball rolling, this week's hails from the Daily Mail, which in the course of some confected snippet about Hugh Grant and Liz Hurley (pictured) casually mentions the pair were "at a party to mark the opening of a fashionable new London bakery".
Do let's see that again: "at a party to mark the opening of a fashionable new London bakery". Did you ever? A bakery? Fashionable? Launched with a party? Don't these people have actual friends, or, come to that, access to cake that doesn't involve dressing up and whingeing about photographers?
Scanning through this week's slew of PR invitations – every one of which is routinely moved unopened to the trash folder, so feel free to stop sending them – Lost in Showbiz discovers that it was actually invited to said soiree, and wishes only that life was like a fairytale, and that it was empowered to turn up at such events and put all other guests to sleep for 100 years.
In the absence of such supernatural gifts, the Twataclysm of the Week contest will have to do. I will be in rehab for the next fortnight, but expect a slew of suggestions on my return.
