Melissa & Doug co-founder Melissa Bernstein is one of world's most prolific toymakers. But don't assume her life is just fun and games — she has a shelf lined with "misfit toys" to prove it.
When a new toy falls flat with consumers, Bernstein, 55, plucks one out of the boxes of returns and sits it on her shelf. Thousands of failed toys look forlornly back at her. She doesn't keep them as a painful reminder of a mistake, though. Just the opposite. She looks to them for inspiration — a spark to make the idea better, later.
"They would sit there like they were talking to me," said Bernstein of the toys that didn't fly off store shelves. "I had many instances where something I introduced and bombed 10 years earlier, I would reintroduce, 10 years later to a resounding success."
Bernstein & Doug Co-Founder: Turn Darkness Into Light
Turning difficulty into success, or "darkness into light," defines Bernstein. She co-founded the leading toy maker more than 30 years ago with her husband of 30 years, Doug. Melissa & Doug is best-known for its colorful array of wooden puzzles, play cutlery and plush toys.
Bernstein is arguably the most successful living toymaker. Melissa & Doug has posted 30 straight years of growth, with never a down or a flat year. And it's on pace to do more than a billion dollars in revenue at retail this year. The company sells 70 million toys a year — adding up to a billion of toys sold.
The variety of Melissa & Doug toys is vast. But they all have a key trait in common. All of Bernstein's creations arise from her struggle to find meaning in life, marred with disappointment. Bernstein has long grappled with depression and was diagnosed with existential anxiety.
"Every single solitary toy I have ever made ... is a channel for my existential despair and a path for me to tap into imagination and bring joy to others," she said.
Be Authentic Like Melissa Bernstein
Most people think of jolly elves painting toy trains in the North Pole when they think of a toymaker. Others might think of giant toy manufacturers pumping out mass-produced licensed action figures. But Bernstein doesn't fit those cliches. Her toymaking magic is forged in humanity, genuineness, pain and failure.
A panic attack while taking the LSAT blew her legal career plans upon graduating from Duke University. Later, hopes to be an English teacher withered following a harshly worded rejection from a professor at the University of Connecticut. And even Melissa & Doug itself almost closed 20 years ago when a representative of their original manufacturer stole their designs and tried to cut the two out.
And yet, each time, she found a creative way to bounce back better. In the case of the factory dispute, Bernstein worked directly with the manufacturer, not an agent, which was unusual for a company of the size at the time, and ironed out terms.
That's her message. "Entrepreneurs have to have both tenacity and optimism," Bernstein said. "You have to believe that there always is a way and that you can take any experience and turn it into a learning that helps you move forward differently."
Don't Worry About Impressing Others
Following graduation from college, Bernstein thought she'd follow her mind and wallet and ignore her heart. Pushing away her creative urges, she decided to parlay her top grades into a professional career.
She targeted Wall Street. She landed a financial analyst job at Morgan Stanley in New York City. It didn't take long before she realized while the money was great, she was selling her soul.
"I was on cloud nine because I had gotten this job that nobody got," Bernstein said. "And then about six months into the job, I realized I was a flower without sunlight and water, and I was dying because, you know, although numbers can form beautiful equations, for some, for me, they were like boring old numbers." She learned right there to follow your heart, not what impresses others.
And that's part of the company's mission now. Melissa & Doug doesn't work to win toy industry awards, she says, but to strike a chord with kids and parents.
Melissa & Doug Co-Founder: Find What Drives You
Working at Morgan Stanley, Melissa, then 22, slipped into depression. Her boyfriend at the time, a 24-year-old Doug, was miserable in his day job, too. He talked her into quitting their jobs together and doing something new.
They pulled together "their meager savings" and brainstormed what "we wanted to do for the rest of our lives," she said. As children of educators, they knew they wanted to help kids.
They landed on the idea of making toys. They wanted to get away from plastic, licensed products that practically came with a script and back story. The Bernsteins wanted to make toys that urged kids to think creatively. The two drove to local toy stores. Nowhere were simple toys, puzzles and blocks. They set out to change that. They got to work in Doug's parents' garage.
Their first products were three short films bundled with toys. But these "Lights, Camera, Interaction!" toys flopped. Parents didn't know what they did unless they were demonstrated.
But the commercial failure showed Bernstein what mattered more: distribution. The couple won over toy store owners. They also knew toys needed to call out to buyers.
"I can never again create a mystery in a box and that made my mindset as a product designer," Bernstein said. "I have to make that product crystal clear on a shelf so that everybody knows what it is. And it can almost impel someone to come over and buy it."
Channel Your Struggles Into Creativity
Bernstein and her husband realized puzzles are a timeless toy the industry left behind. They just needed innovation. Thinking of old books they loved as kids, they recalled those that had interesting fabric sewn on them. They decided to bring texture to wooden puzzles.
They landed on the Fuzzy Farm Puzzle, a wooden puzzle with textured pieces. It was an instant hit. And for 10 years, Melissa & Doug dominated the category. Parents grabbed them up, eager to get their kids off the TV.
"We took the idea of a dull, boring lackluster category that had all the energy sucked out of it and reinvigorated it," Melissa Bernstein said. "We turned puzzles into at least a $50 million dollar category by the time we were finished with just puzzles."
Find Good Partners Like Melissa & Doug
Success often means pairing up with partners you can trust, Bernstein says. In 2008, she decided to sell part of the business to a private equity firm.
As the company and their family of six children grew, Bernstein found they were losing their entrepreneurial risk taking and playing it too safe. "We were being strangled all the time because we were so terrified about making a wrong move and not being able to support our family," she said.
Selling a slice of the business "enabled us to get back that boundlessness of entrepreneurial spirit," Bernstein said.
Above all, Bernstein found support from Doug. His fun-loving yin balances with her creative perfectionism and sometimes depressive yang.
"At her core, Melissa is a curious person. She always wonders 'why?' " Doug said. "This leads to her unending and boundless creativity, because she's always thinking, 'how can something be improved,' 'why does it have to be that way,' and 'how can I make it better?'"
Find Your Next Passion Project
Ask Bernstein what she's working on next and a smile dawns.
And it's not just toys. She's also published a book, "LifeLines" and website to share her story. It's also a guide to find happiness. Just as her toys show children what's possible with creativity, her book does the same with those dealing with mental health issues.
"It's showing people that in them they have the capacity to make meaning and channel their darkness into light," she says. "My mission is to touch as many people as I can."
Melissa & Doug Co-Founder Melissa Bernstein
- Co-founded Melissa & Doug with husband in 1988, turning a small wooden puzzle maker into a billion-dollar toy company.
- Overcame: Lifelong struggles with depression and existential anxiety.
- Lesson: "All innovation starts with curiosity and it starts, at least for me, with a question: 'Why?' And really having that drive to want to find the answer, and if you can't find it, create it."
Follow Matt Krantz on Twitter @mattkrantz
