Meanwhile, in the Championship …
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Match report
Full time: Liverpool 3-0 Bournemouth
Peep peep! Liverpool end a perfect week with an easy, feelgood victory over Bournemouth. The Fab Three all scored, with Mo Salah’s 40th goal of the season the champagne moment. It was a brilliant header from an even better pass by Trent Alexander-Arnold. Liverpool were terrific and Bournemouth couldn’t cope. Thanks for your company. You can join Niall McVeigh for Spurs v Manchester City if you like. Goodnight!
90+1 min Firmino comes off to be replaced by Dominic Solanke.
GOAL! Liverpool 3-0 Bournemouth (Firmino 90)
Roberto Firmino finishes off a lovely evening for Liverpool, dragging a disguised near-post shot past the wrongfooted Begovic after a driving run and pass from Oxlade-Chamberlain.
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89 min Oxlade-Chamberlain rifles a terrific long-range shot fractionally wide of the far post.
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88 min “Whilst following the absorbing commentary, my mind drifted to rather more exciting times from this afternoon,” says Charolude Govett. “I was undecided after minutes of deliberation, so can you decide on antique white or white ivory paint for my bedroom please.”
85 min King’s low shot is blocked by Milner. This is Bournemouth’s best spell by a distance, though you suspect it’s mainly because Liverpool are winding down. A goal would make things interesting.
84 min Another chance for Bournemouth! Wilson gets behind Van Dijk, controls a long pass deftly and smacks it wide of the far post from a tight angle.
83 min A Liverpool change: Klavan on, Lovren off.
82 min A great chance for Bournemouth. Francis’s dangerous cross was miscontrolled by Mousset but fell nicely for Gosling, whose snapshot was slapped away by the off balance Karius.
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79 min The contest is petering out, if indeed it ever petered in. It’s been like an exhibition match.
78 min I knew that Alexander-Arnold pass reminded me of Beckham. It wasn’t quite in the same class but there were a lot of similiarities.
77 min A Liverpool change: Mane off, Milner on.
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76 min Callum Wilson, who must have come on for Jermain Defoe when I wasn’t paying attention, wins a corner for Bournemouth. It leads to a disallowed goal from King, who was clearly offside.
74 min Firmino misses a great chance. Oxlade-Chamberlain slid a pass to put him through on goal, where he decided to dummy both Begovic and Cook in the Romario style. They ended up on the floor, but the time that Firmino took allowed Gosling to get back and make a vital tackle. The ball dribbles towards goal nonetheless and is kicked off the line by Ake.
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73 min Bournemouth make another change, with Andrew Surman replacing Lewis Cook.
40 - @22mosalah has become only the third different player in Liverpool history to score 40+ goals in all competitions in a single season after Roger Hunt (1961-62) and Ian Rush (1983-84 and 1986-87). Unstoppable. pic.twitter.com/0IrUc8Wmio
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) April 14, 2018
70 min Mane flashes a low shot just wide from 22 yards.
GOAL! Liverpool 2-0 Bournemouth (Salah 69)
Mo Salah gets his 40th goal of the season with a delightful header! Alexander-Arnold, whose distribution has been brilliant all night, curled a long, Beckhamish pass over Ake from near the halfway line. Salah got the wrong side of Ake, backpedalled sharply and lobbed an ingenious header over Begovic. Brilliant. The pass from Alexander-Arnold was stunning.
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67 min Salah goes down in the area after a little shove from Ake. The referee says no penalty. It wasn’t much of a push, so I can understand why the referee didn’t give it.
65 min It’s still 1-0. How is it still 1-0?
62 min Liverpool break four on four, with Salah on the ball. He takes the wrong option and mishits a disguised shot from 20 yards that is comfortably held by the diving Begovic.
60 min If Bournemouth win this, it’ll be the most unlikely comeback since lunchtime. Or maybe Wednesday. Or Tuesday. Or last Saturday.
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59 min Wake me up when something happens.
58 min A Bournemouth substitution: Lys Mousset replaces Jordon Ibe.
57 min An unlikely one-two. Cook’s long throw is punched unconvincingly by Karius and comes back to Cook, who sidefoots a long-range volley out for a throw-in.
56 min A sweet long-range strike from Van Dijk flies a few yards over the bar. Begovic had it covered but it was well hit.
56 min Maybe Bournemouth’s plan is to lull Liverpool into a false sense of consciousness. They are so dominant that you couldn’t blame them for falling asleep en masse.
54 min Oxlade-Chamberlain is booked for a lunge at Ibe.
53 min Bournemouth have been unusually poor in possession. The good news is that a) it’s only 1-0 and b) no team has won as many points from losing positions in the Premier League this season.
52 min “I knew I drank too much when we beat City on Wednesday night, however I didn’t realise we also beat Roma and are now in the CL final,” says Frank. “At least that’s what it says in your PREAMBLE.”
That’s okay, no need to apologise.
51 min It’s all Liverpool, as it was in the first half. Jermain Defoe is having to come to the edge of his own area to get the ball. Henderson is lucky not to get booked for a high tackle on Defoe.
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51 min “’That attack ended quicker than Mac Millings’ wedding night’,” suggests Mac Millings.
50 min A Bournemouth break is ruined when Fraser plays a poor pass to the disappointed King. They’ll be arguing about who owns the Coldplay CDs in no time.
49 min “Hey,” says Matt Dony, “there’s a famously fine line between ‘witty and urbane’, and ‘deserving of pity and smelling like cheap whiskey.’ Either way, I’m definitely not invited because of my delicate first touch and ability to thread a pass.”
48 min Jermain Defoe had three touches in the first half, and one of those was the kick-off.
47 min “Not to distract anyone from this mighty tussle but wondered what your thoughts were regarding the new 7.45pm Saturday PL matches?” says Colin Young. “Are these a welcome addition to the calendar or just another nail in the coffin of the traditional Saturday night? I don’t imagine rival TV schedulers are all that pleased about it... I mean isn’t this overkill? I wonder what our fellow Graun readers think about this...”
46 min Peep peep! Bournemouth begin the second half.
“Thought I’d let you know I’m following Liverpool’s progress against Bournemouth via your MBM as I’m at my cousin’s wedding,” writes our own Sachin Nakrani. “To make me feel involved, any chance of you getting wedding-related puns into your updates, ie: ‘this is champagne football from Mo Salah’, or ‘Eddie Howe’s midfield two are really well attached’.”
I shudder to think what the mind of Mac Millings will do with that invitation.
“It occurred to me that Virgil van Dijk is a tremendous porn name,” says Mac Millings, “and that has ‘inspired’ me to come up with a Liverpool-Bournemouth Porn Star XI. Enjoy.
- Assmir Begforit
- Dejan Lovin’
- Steve Cock
- Virgil van Dijk
- Bangnar Klavan
- Alex Hotlaid-Chambermaid
- Ben Woodyburn
- Lewis Cock
- Mo Salacious
- Sadio-masochism Mane
- Dominatrix Solanke.”
Unsubscribe.
(Also, you’ve got a nerve talking about porn names.)
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Your half-time task is to sign up for the Fiver. I get 10 per cent commission so you’d be doing me a great favour.
Half time: Liverpool 1-0 Bournemouth
Liverpool lead through Sadio Mane’s early goal, and it should probably be 3-0. They look high on spring, full of the joys of life, and produced a swaggering, happy first-half performance. Bournemouth barely had a kick. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.
45 min Liverpool are so dominant that even Lovren can walk forward and put in a good cross that the diving Mane heads wide at the near post.
44 min The Liverpool crowd appeal for handball in the area when Alexander-Arnold’s cross hits Francis. The referee wasn’t interested.
42 min Robertson’s cross is headed onto the roof of his own net by the flying Fraser. Bournemouth have been battered. Alexander-Arnold takes the corner and Cook heads clear.
38 min The impressive Alexander-Arnold starts another Liverpool attack with a confident run. Mane plays a superb scoop over the defence to find Salah, who miscontrols the ball when through on goal. It wasn’t the easiest ball to control, but Salah would usually have done so.
35 min Oxlade-Chamberlain’s long-range shot deflects wide for a corner. Begovic punches Henderson’s inswinger away. In other news, a word to the (London-based) wise.
Fabric Of Football London
— Classic Football CFS (@classicshirts) April 4, 2018
Join us at 133 Bethnal Green Road for the #fabricoffootball exhibition displaying the greatest shirts of all-time
The event will support @BobbyMooreFund for #footballshirtfriday pic.twitter.com/siNP1dB0k5
32 min More excellent play from Liverpool. Salah plays a slick one-two with Henderson and is about to shoot when Cook slides to make a vital tackle.
31 min The biggest danger for Liverpool is complacency, because this has been much easier than they would have expected against a good Bournemouth side.
30 min “Hmmm,” says Matt Dony, “I feel like Phil Podolsky (11th minute) has nailed the only reason I ever get invited to 5-a-side games...”
Don’t flatter yourself.
28 min Another chance for Liverpool. Henderson’s deep cross is headed back across goal by Robertson and just evades the stretching Mane.
26 min Francis plays an abysmal pass to Salah, who dances into the D and shoots over the bar. That’s the scary thing about Salah this season - as well as the goals, he has missed a lot of chances and half-chances. He could have scored 50.
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24 min Defoe has a goal disallowed for offside against Fraser, whose cross he turned into the net. It was the right decision.
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21 min Henderson’s pass over the top is beautifully taken down on the run by Mane, whose shot deflects wide off the covering Francis.
20 min King wins a corner for Bournemouth down the left. Karius punches it clear.
19 min Bournemouth are starting to have a bit more of the ball, though not in dangerous areas. Liverpool have become so much better without the ball since they signed Virgil Van Dijk.
18 min Begovic makes another save, this time a comfortable catch from Salah’s low 20-yard shot.
16 min Alexander-Arnold’s disguised free-kick from 25 yards is pushed away by the diving Begovic. I think it was going wide anyway but it was a clever effort.
15 min Bournemouth have their first extended spell in the opposition half. When they lose the ball Liverpool break superbly and Ake is booked for a foul on the marauding Oxlade-Chamberlain.
14 min On reflection, I think that offside decision against Mane was correct. Not that it matters, I just don’t want people to write in and call me an effing cee.
13 min Begovic makes a good one-on-one save from Mane, though it wouldn’t have counted as Mane had been wrongly flagged offside.
12 min This is a very pleasant game, for richer and poorer. There’s hardly been a tackle.
11 min “Milner should travel with the squad even if he’s not included,” says Phil Podolsky. “He would be a kind of elder statesman, a witty and urbane presence who can lift the younguns’ spirits by regaling them with choice anecdotes and bon mots.”
Couldn’t they just bring Jack Whitehall’s dad?
10 min There’s a notable swagger in Liverpool’s football. Bournemouth are under constant pressure.
8 min Jordon Ibe, playing against his own goal, wafts over the bar from 20 yards.
GOAL! Liverpool 1-0 Bournemouth (Mane 7)
Liverpool’s dominant start is rewarded with a goal. Henderson’s ball in from a narrow position was headed towards goal by the unmarked Mane. Begovic made a sharp save to his right but the ball came back to Mane and he rammed it through both Begovic and Francis on the line.
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4 min “I’m not a fan of applause as a replacement for a minute’s silence,” says Tim, who was in Pen 3 at Hillsborough on 15 April 1989. “Did they expect Bournemouth to not observe a silence? It seems unlikely. A minute’s silence seems so much more appropriate for such an emotionally heavy memorial.”
Yes, I wondered about that. There are times when it makes sense, as much as anything because of the fear that silence will be interrupted, but that was never an issue today.
3 min Salah misses an excellent chance, stabbing wide at the near post after a marvellous low cross from Trent Alexander-Arnold.
3 min Liverpool have had almost all of the ball in the first few minutes. Bournemouth are shuffling diligently from side to side like the aliens in Space Invaders.
2 min Bournemouth are playing with a back three
1 min Roberto Firmino gets the match underway. Bournemouth are in their neon blue away kit.
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Tomorrow is the 29th anniversary of the Hillsborough tragedy, and there is a minute’s applause for the 96 before the match.
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Another email! “One reason Milner is keeping his engine going and his powder dry is precisely because he is not doing the international gigs,” says Ian Copestake. “No need to change that.”
Not much banter in that email mate.
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In case you missed it, the Mo-ssiah has unsurprisingly been included on the shortlist for PFA Player of the Year.
There’s another bit of sport going on in Liverpool today. The Grand National is about to start, and you can follow it with Niall McVeigh.
“True...” says Marie Meyer. “but have you seen the state of the current England team?”
I quite like it. But yes, fair point. You could certainly make a case for him starting in midfield.
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It’s a gorgeous evening in Liverpool, and there’s a feelgood mood at Anfield. I’ve got a feeling this could be a pr-etty special game.
An email! “Looks like Klopp understands that Milner is so important he has to be kept in cotton wool until the Roma match!” says Marie Meyer. “Couldn’t agree more. What is Gareth Southgate waiting for - can’t he get the Queen to order him to unretire from international duty?”
Really? Don’t get me wrong, I like Milner a lot and I’d certainly have him in the squad, but we’re not exactly talking about peak Paul Scholes.
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Pre-match reading
The teams
Liverpool (4-3-3) Karius; Alexander-Arnold, Van Dijk, Lovren, Robertson; Wijnaldum, Henderson, Oxlade-Chamberlain; Salah, Firmino, Mane.
Substitutes: Mignolet, Milner, Klavan, Moreno, Woodburn, Ings, Solanke.
Bournemouth (3-4-2-1) Begovic; Francis, S Cook, Ake; Frasier, L Cook, Gosling, Daniels; Ibe; King; Defoe.
Substitutes: Boruc, B Smith, Simpson, Surman, Pugh, Wilson, Mousset.
Referee Chris Kavanagh.
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Preamble
Hail the conquering heroes! Liverpool return home to face Bournemouth after a glorious week in which they beat Manchester City and Roma to reach the Champions League final. They don’t have that much to play for today – they are going to finish in the top four regardless – but Jurgen Klopp’s sides usually play for the sheer love of football and sweat. You’d expect them to put on a show tonight.
Bournemouth will come to play as well, so this should be a really enjoyable game. They have lost only two matches since Christmas and are still in with a chance of equalling last season’s ninth-placed finish. In their own modest way they are an amazing team. The story of Eddie Howe’s Bournemouth will make a cracking book one day; so will the one about Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool.
Kick off is at 5.30pm.
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