A Liverpool-based artist has opened up with their experience of gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia.
Charlotte Barry, from Anfield but now lives in West Derby, proudly identifies as non-binary. It took the 19-year-olds years of internal struggle to accept who they were - as some days they felt “like a fraud”.
The Liverpool City College student said over the last few years both conditions are something they have “struggled with massively” but through the cathartic means of art, they are learning how to love themself.
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Charlotte, who is bisexual, told the ECHO: “It’s something I struggle with massively - it’s constant. At least a few thoughts cross my mind daily about it.
“It’s always been in my mind since I was 11-years-old. Some days I thought I wanted to be a boy and other days I wanted to be a girl. I wasn’t comfortable with my own gender and that’s why I think I kept wanting to mix. It’s been a lot of trial and error with self-acceptance.
“It’s very hard to explain because you have good days and other days are just the worst. It’s hard to accept it within myself so it's hard for others to understand. I feel like a fraud some days when most days I just want to be like everyone else.”
Body dysmorphia is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance, according to the NHS. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others. People of any age can have the condition, but it is said to be most prevalent among teenagers and young adults.
Whereas gender dysphoria is a term that describes a sense of unease a person may have because of a mismatch between their biological sex and their gender identity.
Transgender and non-binary folks may experience both simultaneously as both are often interconnected. While feelings of discomfort in one's body are about gender, transgender and non-binary folks can simultaneously face distress about size, shape, and control.
Charlotte said: “When the term non-binary started getting used, my struggle was still very much internalised. I kept saying to myself I wasn’t non-binary and pushed it to the back of my mind. It wasn’t till I meet others who are non-binary that I realised I was a lot more like them than I thought.”
Charlotte’s latest art project, which is on display at an LGBTQ+ exhibition at Smithdown’s Social Arts Hub, is an oil painting which focuses on gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. On the surface, the painting - which is of an apple not seeing itself as whole - appears to be about perception but beyond that, Charlotte said it is actually how they view themselves.
They said: “I always put a little bit of myself into my work. I want to be connected to my work, especially when it's about sexuality and gender - something I struggled with for a long time.
“When I was growing up, I found my school to be quite homophobic. Without realising it but that impacted me because I didn’t have those role models to look up to or LGBTQ+ events to look forward to. There was little inclusivity and I internalised that and eventually, it resulted in a lot of mental problems.”
Charlotte hopes through their latest work younger generations realise they “don’t need to confirm to boxes and it is actually a lot more complex than society's expectations”. The artist added: “Everyone has different thoughts and feelings and not everyone is the same. It’s so important to be yourself and I knew this when I was younger it would have helped.”
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