IT’S STICKY, ALRIGHT
It is customary to solemnly declare that “form goes out the window” in football derbies, but as the players of Frank Lampard’s Everton gird their loins before Sunday’s trip across Stanley Park to Anfield, The Fiver isn’t so sure this will be the case. Sure, when push comes to shove, it’s 11 highly gifted footballers against 11 and anything could happen, but in terms of form, we’re struggling to envisage a scenario in which Sadio Mané and Luis Díaz repeatedly trip over their own feet while behind them Alisson keeps shanking clearances over the roof of the Sir Kenny Dalglish Stand.
As for FLE? Well, colour us cynical this Spring Friday afternoon, but despite the men from Goodison Park having scraped four points from the previous six available against Manchester United and Leicester respectively through a deflected shot and late, late mis-kick, The Fiver finds it implausible to imagine they’re going to rock up to Anfield doing anything resembling a passable impersonation of 1970s Brazil. Currently more Big Sam than samba, the pressure has been well and truly ramped up on FLE in the wake of Thursday night’s events in Lancashire. In case you missed it – and given if it was a Thursday night fixture at Turf Moor between Burnley and Southampton, you almost certainly did – the home side won to leave them just a point behind Everton in the battle for Premier League survival. What’s more, if Burnley can do a number on Wolves on Sunday, FLE will start the 240th Merseyside derby in the relegation zone.
In a game that both teams desperately need to take something from for wildly different reasons. Liverpool require three points to maintain their tilt at a quintuple of League, Milk Cup, Big Cup, FA Cup and FLE Being Relegated. The Toffees would happily take a share of the spoils to help them avoid making what is already shaping up to be an unprecedented season of success for Reds on Merseyside that little bit better. “I’m a realist,” said FLE manager Frank Lampard at his pre-match presser. “You understand the position we’re in. I’ve played Liverpool, managed against Liverpool – it’s always daunting because you respect the level of player and manager they have. It’s a slightly different type of test, it’s why we’re in this game.”
On the subject of respect for the manager Liverpool have, Lampard was asked about the time he told Jürgen Klopp to “eff off and sit down” during a touchline spat at Anfield back in 2020. “All of us get it wrong at times,” honked Lampard, in a state of affairs that suggests he’s never got involved in a debate on Social Media Disgrace Twitter. “It was just a bit misguided from my point of view. I have seen Jürgen since then and everything is fine. We all move on because we understand what this game does to you at times.” Wise words indeed. The Fiver looks forward to hearing more heated effing and jeffing from either or both technical areas at Anfield on Sunday.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE!
Join John Brewin from 5.45pm BST for Women’s Big Cup MBM coverage of Barcelona 3-1 Wolfsburg.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“You must adapt to every circumstance and personal situation involving players with regard to their club and contracts. On a selfish level, I’d like to keep him. And take him on a holiday with me, take him home” – having missed out on the Old Trafford gig again, PSG’s Mauricio Pochettino doesn’t want to find himself out in the cold when it comes to Kylian Mbappé’s future.
RECOMMENDED BOOKING
A New Formation: how Black British footballers shaped the modern game. Tickets are now available for the live event, featuring Jonathan Liew, Andrew Cole and Hope Powell.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Get your ears around the latest Football Weekly Extra. And while we’re at it, Max, Barry and the pod squad are going back out on tour. Tickets to live shows in June and July are available here, so get buying.
MOVING THE GOALPOSTS
The Fiver has a new sister email, folks! You don’t need to be told that it’s smarter and wittier than us – so sign up. The latest edition has been sent whistling into inboxes but you can get a taste here.
FIVER LETTERS
“Re: Erik ten Hag (yesterday’s Fiver). I find it remarkable that it needs remarking on that a manager has secured primacy over transfers. It is surely common sense. Imagine if the prime minister had to accept cabinet ministers chosen by someone else: we might end up with a cabinet of dysfunctional, vindictive nobod … oh” – Richard Hirst.
“Is it just me or have Manchester United just appointed the comedian Tom Allen as their new manager?” – Brendan Mackinney.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Brendan Mackinney.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Uefa has charged Bodø/Glimt’s manager Kjetil Knutsen and Roma goalkeeping coach Nuno Santos with “serious assault” following their Tin Pot meeting in Norway.
Arsenal fan Lewis Hamilton has been explaining why he wants to be part of a consortium trying to take over Chelsea. “I remember switching between teams when I was younger and getting home and my sister Sam punching me several times in the arm, she basically beat me and said I had to support Arsenal. So from five or six years old I became a supporter of Arsenal,” he tooted. “Ultimately I’m a sporting fan.”
Manchester City’s parent company, the City Football Group, has failed to add NAC Breda to its portfolio after a less-than-positive response from the Dutch club’s fans.
Wolves manager Bruno Lage thinks his former boss Carlos Carvalhal would be a good fit for Burnley. “I think he is in the best moment of his career because what he did in these years in Braga, it’s what Carlos can do at a club,” cheered Lage.
And finally, to the Fun and Games in South America dept: a police dog invaded the pitch and made off with the match ball during the Campeonato Pernambucano final between Náutico and Retrô.
Um cachorro da POLÍCIA invadiu o campo na final do Pernambucano! E o bichinho queria a bola... pic.twitter.com/6wqhMKLuCq
— ge (@geglobo) April 21, 2022
STILL WANT MORE?
More red-hot Erik ten Hag comment, with Barney Ronay wondering how the Dutchman will turn the Manchester United ghost ship around, plus fan Jay Motty arguing that the new manager needs proper backing. Willem Janssen, who featured under Ten Hag at Utrecht, also reckons he’s the best manager he’s played for.
Premier League things this weekend: we got 10 of ‘em, as is the form.
Suzanne Wrack on Lotte Wubben-Moy, the homegrown Arsenal gift who keeps on giving.
From curried goat at Luton and Ipswich to pulled pork at Grimsby and Barnsley’s flatbreads, football ground food is getting better, as Pete Brooksbank explains.
Valencia’s Carlos Soler gets his chat on with Sid Lowe about being bribed with a Game Boy to join a club and his Copa del Rey final hopes.
Jonathan Liew on Bayern Munich’s imminent 10th title in a row and its broader implications.
And if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
