After months of sustained hype and growing anticipation, Live Earth is finally here. And, do you know, I'm nearly excited. I promise, I've bee trying very hard to shake of the shackles of cynicism so as not to bring you a negative, dripping-in-sarcasm blog. I said I've been trying, but I can't promise there wont be some eye-rolling when Danny Dyer steps up to introduce Snow Patrol.
Before proceedings kick off (the first performance isn't due to start until about 13:00 hours), I need to resolve exactly why my natural reaction to Live Earth, and prevailing sentiment ever since, has been so dismissive. Otherwise I fear cynicism will win.
I think it's a fair to say most human beings want to live through and participate in extraordinary, life-changing events. Few people genuinely don't want change for the better. But Band Aid, the first musical extravaganza set to a backdrop of piety and charity that was to set a precedent for such events, at least had an air of spontaneity to it. From the rolled-up sleeves and dogged determination of Bob Geldof, to the chaotic, all-for-one way in which the single Do They Know It's Christmas? seemed to have been recorded, it's as though a surge of emotion and collective responsibility was what powered it. Perhaps this analysis seems a bit nostalgic, but comparing Band Aid to the slick corporatism of Live Earth, I can't escape the feeling that there is something insincere, fraudulent even, about the whole thing. For example, has anyone heard one word from the lips of any of the performers or celebrity compares who will take part in today's event that suggests they have considered the problem of climate change for even a second before today? It would be marginally less irritating to be preached to by James Blunt about carbon offsetting if I believed he knew more about energy-saving lightbulbs than I do. Never mind the depressingly predictable figures in the Guardian today that reveal the Godzilla-sized carbon footprint of Madonna, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and various other performers flown in to London on private jets for their slot today.
But am I missing the point? 2 billion people are the intended target for the Live Earth concerts, many of whom may well know next to nothing about what effect climate change really has on the everyday lives of the many other millions of people who wont be watching. I honestly hope it works, though how we'll measure the results I'm not sure. Until further notice (or until Genesis kick things off at Wembley), my cynicism and I are signing off. In the meantime, any attempts to make me a believer will be very much appreciated.
And we're off! Jonathan Ross is sitting in a studio overlooking a distinctly empty looking Wembley stadium. Edith Bowman's got a lovely dress on and is reporting from the floor and Graham Norton is reporting from the VIP section and "function room". This may be where we get the odd impromptu vox pop (that's when you grab people unawares and thrust a microphone in their face) with some unsuspecting sleb. Let's hope Lee Ryan from Blue is around, I'd love to hear his thoughts on climate change.
Back to the studio and I've lucked out, Johnny Borrell's on the couch with Jimmy Carr. He just told Jonathan Ross that after he saw Al Gore's Inconvenient Truth he phoned up Friends of the Earth and said: 'I'm Johnny Borrell from a band called Razorlight. Can I help you guys out?" Before I have a chance to venture a guess at what their response was, Jimmy Carr steps in and says: "If only you could harness the power of the cynicism surrounding this event." You could what, match your levels of everyday smugness?
Sorry, I promised not to be sceptical, didn't I? But it's difficult when you're confronted with Johnny Borrell and Jimmy Carr at the same time. It's like a tag-team of self-importance.
The truth is there are lots of people talking about climate change and more importantly, how to change your everyday habits to reduce carbon emissions. This is kinda the point and the more they repeat stuff about boiling kettles and turning off power at the socket, the more chance there is people will pay attention. Unfortunately, they've just cut to the crowds streaming in to Wembley to get their views and most don't appear to be "on message". When the interviewer asks one boy why he's there he says: "Metallica". Fair enough, I suppose. Maybe we'll find out about Lars Ulrich's recycling habits later in the day.
Roger Taylor of Queen, Chad Smith of Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Taylor Hawkins of Foo Fighters have joined forces for a drum fest, which looks like fun. Over in Hamburg, Skakira looks like she's finding the whole experience of saving the planet terribly sexy. Cut back to London and Chris Moyles is announcing the line-up. It's not just bands, he says, Eddie Izzard and Chris Rock are on hand to help us save the earth too. He's actually doing quite a good job, much as it pains me to lavish a compliment on Moyles. Oh dear, the positive vibes must be getting to me.
Genesis are jamming and have just started on Turn It On Again. As usual, Phil Collins looks like the kind of bloke who would try and sell you second hand meat in a pub in Bermondsey.
They're on to Land of Confusion now and I swear I'll turn off every light in the house to make it stop. Oh look, a South African flag....
Flagwatch: can anyone confirm what the meaning behind a Union Jack flag where the blue is replaced by pink is? Oh, Genesis? Phil Collins just swore during Invisible Touch.
Indent time: just one recycled can saves enough energy to power a televsion for three hours. How many cans needed for a Genesis gig then?
Things just got better, Paolo Nutini came on screen and I am hanging on his every word. Oh no, they just cut to Razorlight! And Borrell's all in black, so things must be serious.
14:18: Ok, what do we think of the all in black look then? Personally, I think it's a bit "the apocalypse is coming!" and we've had enough of that as it is. Could he not find any skinny jeans in green?
14:22: Razorlight are done. LA Waltz is about as boring as it gets, surely... Ross just aplogised for the swearing. I think a swear box might help, you could get a decent amount from the crowd alone.
Ok, that's all from me! Thanks for your comments, they actually made things bareable. Alex Needham, it's over to you here.
