In a world filled with distractions, it's hard enough to listen when you're relaxing with friends. But when a brilliant colleague reels off a series of important points, listening gets tougher.
When conversing with fast talkers who cover lots of relevant details in rapid-fire fashion, the stress of remembering it all can prove overwhelming. And if you keep fretting "I hope I don't forget any of this," it only gets worse.
"Your brain tends to retain feelings, not facts," said Justin Hale, an author and trainer at Crucial Learning, a consulting firm in Provo, Utah. "Getting caught up in emotions can preclude you from focusing on the facts."
Setting aside your emotions is a good start. Even better, harness all your mental energy to concentrate on what you hear in real time.
Turn On Attention While Listening
Pay full attention as soon as the speaker begins. If you miss the first few sentences, you'll wind up playing catch-up from there.
To listen well, exert the discipline to stay focused, curious and clearheaded. How can you retain vital facts or details when speakers deliver them at a fast clip?
Keep A Mental List
As speakers advance from point to point, keep track. Number each item and label it with an easy-to-remember word or phrase.
"Listen for transition words," said Kasie Roberson, clinical associate professor at Purdue University's Daniels School of Business. Words such as "next" or "also" signal that the speaker is shifting to a new topic — and you should get ready to assign a fresh label to what they're about to say.
Repeat What Matters When Listening
If you're trying to retain lots of data or details, restate what you hear — in your head or out loud.
"When the speaker rattles off a statistic, repeat it to yourself four or five times," Roberson said. "Or repeat it as a question and get them to elaborate before moving on."
Say someone mentions that teens spend 1.5 hours on their phones each school day. Jump in and ask, "Did you say teens spend 1.5 hours of their school day on their phones?"
Use A Note-Taking App To Help Listening
Before the conversation begins, ask if you can record it on your phone. Better yet, use a note-taking app that synthesizes the content and produces a tidy summary.
"I feel I can be more present and pay more attention to the person speaking when I use a note-taking app," Roberson said. "I can listen better and take my own notes" to supplement the app's notes.
Rush To Write It Down
If you run into someone who shares lots of data at once, it's often impractical to take notes in real time. But race to do so afterward.
"Take notes immediately after the conversation is over," Hale said. "Wait too long and you'll retain less and less. It starts to get distorted. Your accuracy drops."
Cut Yourself Some Slack
The smartest speakers reel off so much information that it feels like drinking from a fire hose. Accept that you can't retain it all.
"Pause, take a breath and say to yourself, 'I'll retain whatever I can retain here,'" Roberson said. "Remind yourself that your goal is to learn, not retain every single point. It's OK if you don't retain everything."
Flip The Switch
Listen for the big and important theme in what the speaker is talking about.
"If you're detail-oriented by nature, you can listen too much for details and miss the bigger point," said Alex Lyon, professor of communication at SUNY Brockport. Instead, focus on main ideas and key points. Treat the details as secondary. You can always gather the details later.
