"The breaking of so great a thing should make a greater crack." Thus ran Caesar's words on Marc Antony's death – but O, how easily they could be applied to news that Lindsay Lohan has begun her jail sentence.
Yes, Lohan is in lockdown, and though the star is currently expected to serve an interminable nine days inside, there is no harm in keeping our spirits up by looking ahead to her next move.
And so to the most predictable of developments. Back when Lindsay was sentenced, you might recall that Lost in Showbiz chanced to mention the Paris Hilton Playhouse, the project a contrite-acting Paris Hilton promised to establish on her emergence from the same jail in which Lindsay now languishes. The Playhouse was to be a place where sick children would come to enjoy toys and clothes donated by the celebutante and her friends – and is about as close to being made reality as the halfway house for former jailmates Paris also pledged to build. Which is to say, not close at all.
The good news is that Lindsay has not been deterred from considering similar commitments. "Lindsay actually wants to open up her own rehab centre here [in LA]," her mother tells a US magazine, "and a couple across the country to help other kids and celebs so they don't fall through the cracks in this town. She mentioned it to me a couple of days ago. She's really growing up."
So there we have it – the Lindsay Lohan clinic chain, which I imagine would be called something inspirational such as Beginnings or Whatevahs. Things may look bleak just now, but please don't claim you have nothing to look forward to.
