AFTER YOU, CLAUDE
What has Claude Puel ever done for Southampton? Apart from the eighth-placed finish in the Premier League (a position that got Mauricio Pochettino a job at Tottenham after one season in charge), a trip to Wembley in the Carling Cup final against Manchester United (after beating Arsenal and Liverpool earlier in the competition), the wine, the willingness to speak English from the get-go, the patience and bravery to blood youngsters like Jack Stephens, Josh Sims, Sam McQueen, Harrison Reed, the coaching ability to bring the best out of more established professionals like Oriol Romeu, James Ward-Prowse, Nathan Redmond, Maya Yoshida, the astuteness to make promising, relatively inexpensive signings like Manolo Gabbiadini, Sofiane Boufal, and Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg? But apart from that, what has former Southampton manager Claude Puel ever done for them?
If only he had been more noticeable. Oh Claude! Why didn’t you give us a few more soundbites? Why didn’t you wear any elaborate hats? At least a waistcoat or grow some facial hair, for Pete’s sake. Why didn’t you endear yourself to the fans by going absolutely potty, throwing yourself into the crowd – bloodshot eyes rolling to the back of your head in ecstasy like an optimistic Magic 8 Ball that’s had a bit too much Lucozade – every time Saints scored.
“Everyone at Southampton would like to express our thanks to Claude for his hard work and commitment this year,” read a fittingly bland statement. “The highlight of the season was a memorable day at Wembley in the [Milk] Cup final, a day our fans will always treasure. The search for a new management team is under way. We are confident we will find the right fit in line with the long-term vision of the club.”
Perhaps the Saints board might have had more success and been less trigger-happy if they didn’t ratify the sales of the club’s best two players, Sadio Mané and Victor Wanyama, last summer. Perhaps if they hadn’t shipped the club captain, José Fonte, off to West Ham in January, or if Virgil van Dijk didn’t get crocked that month, there might have been a few more clean sheets. Just how Southampton are going to overhaul Everton – a club that is just about to nearly double Southampton’s record transfer on a relegated goalkeeper – never mind one of Chelsea, Tottenham, Manchester City, Liverpool, Arsenal or Manchester United remains to be seen.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“We know that top division players don’t like contact, they don’t like if we waste time or if we play dirty. So that was the way to do it. Football is like that. Football is for the clever” – maybe Sport Pacífico defender Federico Allende isn’t so smart, what with bragging in a radio chat about using a needle to hurt opponents during the 3-2 Argentinian cup upset over Estudiantes. “We are devastated,” sobbed Pacífico president Hector Moncada. “This incident has tarnished the team’s good work. I will expel him from the club.”
SPORT 2.0
Fromageries, holograms, 360-degree videos – the future of the matchgoing experience, apparently. Oliver Wainwright looks at what’s in store for our stadiums.
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BITS AND BOBS
Bali United’s Hindu defender Ngurah Nanak has been talking about his joint prayer goal celebration with Muslim winger Miftahul Hamdi and Christian striker Yabes Roni during the recent win over Perseru Serui. “I never expected it to go viral. Because we just wanted to show our gratitude to God,” he tooted.
Plain Old John Terry could be on his way to Birmingham City. Could. “We’ve made him a good offer,” cheered ‘Arry Redknapp. “He played for me the other week in Michael Carrick’s testimonial. I had John at the back with Jamie Carragher and I would have them two together all day long.”
Nasty Leeds have named former Apoel boss Thomas Christiansen as their head coach.
England boss Gareth Southgate has offered a bleak assessment of his team. “I am afraid there is no magic wand but we are recognising where we are short,” he whooped.
Pope’s Newc O’Rangers signing Ryan Jack says he expected a backlash after his move from Aberdeen. “I knew that there is that hatred maybe, if you say, between Aberdeen and Rangers,” he sniffed. “But that never affected me one bit in my decision. It doesn’t really interest me, to be honest.”
And new Jiangsu Suning manager Fabio Capello has laid out his hopes at the Chinese Super League club. “When I received Jiangsu’s offer, their long-term plan struck me,” he trousered. “I’m here first to lift our position in the Chinese Super League rankings and in the meantime try to gain something in the Chinese FA Cup.”
THE RECAP
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STILL WANT MORE?
Russia’s World Cup planning comes under the spotlight as the Confederations Cup gets under way. Shaun Walker assesses the hopes, controversies and concerns in the host country.
Manchester United’s new recruit Victor Lindelof is a proper old head on young shoulders, and Jacob Steinberg has some positive things to say about the defender signed from Benfica. Read them here.
Southampton have a tendency to want the moon on a stick from their managers, and Claude Puel couldn’t deliver it for a club who have admirably unreasonable expectations, reckons Paul Doyle.
Get your Premier League pre-season friendlies list here.
Who will win the golden boot at the European Under-21 Championships? The Fiver couldn’t say, but luckily Martin Laurence has rather more of an inkling.
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