My local supermarket, which never has enough open checkout lines, has gone Big Time into self-checkout stations and people seem to love them. I choose to stand in the regular checkout line.
I'm not anti-technology, but I love casual contact with people, and the checkout line is a great place for that.
The woman buying 50 cans of cat food, the man with beer and pizza and ice cream in his cart, these are opportunities for little conversations: "How many cats do you have?"; "Looks like there's going to be a party!"
Noticing without being nosy, friendliness that isn't invasive, a nod, a smile, all cost nothing and are priceless. They connect us to each other in healthy ways. A rude remark or gesture can bring out the worst in people, and a friendly smile and greeting can bring out the best. It can even help to heal an injured spirit, or reassure a lonely soul that he or she is part of the community.
I'm an introvert and enjoy spending time by myself, but when I'm walking in the park or in the neighborhood, I try to make eye contact and nod or smile at people, just enough to say "I see you. I acknowledge you. You are not invisible."
Loneliness is considered to be a public health crisis in this country. I recently read about a young man who burgles homes and waits for the police to come because they know him, they know his name. He's that lonely, that isolated from normal human contact. He might be an extreme example, but I think there's a lot of acting out being done by people who are very lonely, who feel that they don't belong anywhere.
People long to belong, to be seen, appreciated, included, valued. People need community, need to be known, need to have a place at the table not only for meals but for conversation with others. People who are chronically lonely, who feel ignored and invisible, are psychologically, spiritually and physically at risk.
In my faith tradition, we're taught that every person is made in the image of God. We all carry a bit of that light within us, however buried it may be. That may be hard to see, through a veil of our fears and prejudices and expectations. It may be very hard to believe because of words that offend us or behaviors we can't condone.
If people don't know they bear the image of God, that something infinitely lovable and worthy is a part of them, then acknowledging them as part of the community of God is a great way to help that spark of divinity start to glow. "Love to the loveless shown, that they might lovely be" is a line from a favorite hymn.
Faith communities could make a big difference in the loneliness epidemic if belonging was valued at least as highly as belief, if God's creative diversity was celebrated and welcomed even if it challenges our comfort zones.
With Jesus as my model, paying attention to people, feeding and healing, comes way ahead of checking for theological correctness. And a line from a cherished book reminds me: "God's not as particular as I am."
There's a Sanskrit word of greeting, Namaste, that means "I bow to you" and also "the light in me honors the light in you". It's a good reminder that there's a spark of God in each of us, that recognizes that light in others, and needs connections with others to keep our own light bright.
"Let your light shine" is another teaching in my faith tradition. When we forget how to be friendly, when we focus on ourselves by ignoring others, it's not just their spark that doesn't shine. We've dimmed our own.
