My day begins by reading the Man’s mail. It starts with five lunatics and a statement by the National Executive. A box of slides. Letters of anguish: five people want the Man to save the world and 40 want him to save the baby seals. A lady wants him to wear darker suits on TV. Three invitations to lunch. One says feel free to bring his political adviser, and I write alongside ‘Accept this one’ in red pencil. An old man urges him to reduce estate duty, which he abolished. An air letter from Hong Kong: five paragraphs of gnomic Eastern wisdom signed ‘A Faithful Fool.’ A clutch of requests for a signed photograph.
Invitations to speak. Newcastle cannot get enough of him. Two nice letters from children (one with drawings). A stack of letters about foreign parts from pressure groups. The phrases merge: fascist repression, continuing crisis, hypocritical silence of the British Government, demand for a clear statement by the party, by the Man. Multinationals. Arms sales. Liberation forces. Destabilisation. Unity of democratic and progressive forces. Terror. Massacre. Refugees. Starvation. Disease. All over the world the four horsemen are saddling up.
Onward through the mail. Letters from geniuses and saviours. The writer would be grateful for comments on the attached 10-page single-spaced plan for Britain’s economic miracle... for world peace... for Cosmic Renaissance. Finally the junk mail. Someone has sent more statistics about the Socialist Republic of M___ than I ever wanted to know. Into the bin. Offers from business equipment firms: buy our word processor, double the output of your staff. I destroy these at once. Ludd rules, OK?
Some heavy steps in the corridor. The door crashes open. Some hummed vaudeville music on a rising beat: Yah-Dah-de-Dah-Dah-DAH. Arms flung aloft to greet the applause for the Star.
The Man gazes at me, puzzled. After all, I have worked for him for only 18 months. With a mighty effort of memory he says ‘Oh. Richard. Good.’ Genuine, pleased surprise that I should be at his disposal. Pennies from Heaven.
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