We have finished Merry Christmas, we’ve done with Happy New Year and when it comes to spending time with our nearest and dearest “glad to see them come” has been replaced by “glad to see them go”. And yes, these two are not incompatible. It’s not a matter of either disappointment or hypocrisy, it’s just the way families operate.
When the visit of a friend or grown son or daughter is in the future, you remember why you adore them. In honour of their pending stay, you plan special meals and treats, you envisage all the jolly things you’re going to do and all the rotten things in the house they are – with any luck – going to mend. You don’t remember you’ll have to plan things, cook things, avoid what they are touchy about, or what they hate to eat or don’t care to have mentioned.
When they go, of course you’re sad… in some ways. It was great hearing about their lives and you had someone to talk to who remembers so many of the same things as you, even if your take on them is totally different: “Don’t tell me you actually enjoyed getting up that mountain”; “Yes, I agree, we shouldn’t have dragged you to that play.”
That was all fun, but when they go you get your own life back. You don’t have to fit meal times into their timetable or avoid the TV news because it irritates them. In some ways things are better. With any luck the things they’ve mended will perform as never before, even the computer on which you can write to tell them how good it was seeing them – and how very glad you’ll be to see them again the next time.
What do you think? Have your say below
