“The further outside the city you go, the better it goes for us,” said one Liberal member, elbowing his friends and pointing to the screen, daring them to dream as the results rolled in on Saturday evening.
The party mood of Scott Morrison’s event at the Sofitel was set early, with volunteers and party officials reaching for the white wine, one in each hand because it seemed it was going to be one of those nights.
Still, there were doubts: “Wait for WA”, “what about prepoll”. It was almost as if they didn’t dare believe it could be true.
But that’s the thing with the SCG members’ stand set, downing full-strength beer while those in the cheap seats get mid-strength: it doesn’t take much to convince them that it’s only natural that this night, like every other, belongs to them.
Another member told Guardian Australia he “wasn’t surprised” by the result, just as he wasn’t surprised by the election of Donald Trump or Brexit. How did everyone miss it? His theory was that “the more the left shouts” the more superficially unacceptable it becomes to vote conservative. But deep down everybody knows that the party is not racist, sexist, or homophobic. It’s just right.
“I don’t think Malcolm Turnbull could have run this type of campaign.”
One young bloke with the build of a rugby forward in a blue and black houndstooth jacket asked his friend if he felt “re-so-loot”, apparently mimicking Turnbull’s patrician accent.
They were surprising sentiments to hear in the heart of Sydney, the private-school educated, professional class mocking Turnbull and barracking for the daggy dad persona of Scomo. If they were Malcolm people before, they are not any more. They like the direction Morrison is taking the party – more suburban and aspirational.
There were a few I-told-you-sos to the media, for overlooking the shy Tories and the sensible centre. But even one Liberal staffer was forced to admit the result was “random”.
“I’d like to say I saw it coming but I’ll be honest, I didn’t.”
Morrison acknowledged the truth of it: the win was “a miracle”. The speech had several of Morrison’s now familiar Christian touches – the typical protestant promise to get “back to work” revamped with the evangelical touch of his claim he will “burn for you”.
“The Quiet Australians won a great victory tonight,” he said.
One young volunteer who worked the electorate of Sydney had a theory: Chinese-Australian voters were asking how they could vote for Scott Morrison. Apparently he is a cult figure. “Chinese and Indian Australians used to vote Labor, they don’t any more.”
Some thought Morrison was just better than Bill Shorten, and perhaps in the end that was all the conservatives had needed.
One gent in a pinstripe suit with a pink pocket square declared Shorten “a wanker” for turning up in Higgins.
What did it all mean for Australia? “We still have jobs!” exclaimed one young woman with thick dark-rimmed glasses held together by a gold bridge.
“Who fucking tonight!” sung a young man with floppy hair.
There was a tinge of sadness early at the loss of Tony Abbott. But it didn’t stop the party for long. Former speaker Bronwyn Bishop told Guardian Australia it was an “extraordinary evening”, when the party made many gains but lost its former prime minister.
“What a gracious speech he gave, it really showed the measure of the man – pleased for the Australian people that Scott Morrison may still be the prime minister and that was more important than his personal loss.”
Abbott was a small hiccup in a night to remember.
For Philip Ruddock, the former attorney general and the Liberals’ NSW president, there were shades of 1993. “In 93 John Hewson experienced exactly the same outcome – people thought he was there, [but] they made a misjudgment,” he said.
“What you have is the Keating line – he said of Hewson’s policies ‘if you understood it, you wouldn’t vote for it, if you don’t understand it you shouldn’t [vote for it].”
The Liberals knew they had won when home affairs minister Peter Dutton graced their screens, beaming at how they had turned back the Green-left Labor-union-GetUp tide. Shortly after, the ABC predicted that majority Labor government was impossible and that got a loud cheer.
But the loudest was a chant of “Scomo! Scomo! Scomo!” – first as Shorten conceded defeat, and then again as the re-elected prime minister entered. Their voices had the timbre of a GPS rugby match – the first XV had brought home the premiership and it was time to let everyone know.
They had to feel the primal cry in their own throats, they had to shake their compatriots because in their blue-blood hearts they simply could not believe it and they were desperate to make it real: they had won.
