A Texas woman says a brunch with her female friends took an uncomfortable turn after they paid their tabs. She’s convinced the server lifted their names off their debit cards.
Houston, Texas-based creator Ashly (@ashlysgxoxo) says she and her friends went out for some girl time on Sunday.
“We’re having a great time,” Ashly recalls in a post about the experience. “Our server was very kind and attentive. I feel like we got really good customer service from him.”
When brunch concluded, they handed over their debit cards. As they were closing out, the women decided to continue enjoying themselves at another spot nearby.
Ashly says she recalls that the server referred to them by their names when he handed their debit cards back. In the moment, she apparently didn’t think much of it.
That changed a half hour later when she says “the weirdest thing” happened. Her friend got a notification that someone had followed her on Instagram.
It was the brunch server.
“Mind you, they never exchanged information,” Ashly says. A text overlay on the TikTok notes that the male server was “way older” than the women.
At first, they were confused. Then she says, “It started clicking. He must have gotten our information when we gave him our debit cards.”
She suggests the experience made her feel very uncomfortable.
“As women, I think we already always have to be on our toes and extra careful about things,” she says.
The thought that a simple meal could lead to a stranger tracking her down online just doesn’t sit right.
“At the end of the day, I just think it’s a little inappropriate for him to do that,” she says.
Ashly didn’t immediately respond to a direct message sent via TikTok.
Girl on the internet
Being a woman already carries various risks that men are less likely to experience or even think about. A dark street, a quiet parking garage, and even their own homes can feel like dangerous places.
The internet is another place that can be fraught with danger for women.
A study in Europe found that women are a stunning 27 times more likely to experience online harassment than men, per UN Women. A separate analysis found that 92% of women reported that their well-being had been negatively impacted by online violence.
Young women, girls, women with disabilities, and women who are racial and/or ethnic minorities experience more and more extreme online violence, UN Women notes.
So, for an older man a young woman had a passing interaction with, such as the man who waited on Ashly and her friends, to track her down online can feel invasive and potentially risky in a way that a man might not think of.
People who commented on Ashly’s post agree that the server was out of line.
One called it “weird” and suggested that she carry cash to avoid inadvertently giving out her personal information.
“I would let the restaurant know,” another woman wrote. “Your feelings are valid. If you felt uncomfortable then you should address it.”
Ashly replied that the man “could’ve at least asked instead of getting her info from her card.”
Another woman shared that a car salesman watched her Instagram story a day after she went to the dealership with her husband.
“*How to lose a client in 24 hours* bc what the heck!!?” Ashly responded.
Others said they’d had similar experiences with pilots, cell phone company employees, dentists, and dry cleaners.
Many urged Ashly and her friends to take additional precautions.
“That is 100% inappropriate and please make sure she blocks him and puts her settings on private bc once you report, he will [be] talked to and know who it was that reported him,” said one.
@ashlysgxoxo story time ? we decided to just leave it alone but considering the age gap and nature of our conversations with him, this really caught us off guard. #restaurantstory #houstonrestaurants #houstontexas ♬ original sound – ????? ? |Houston Creator
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