What’s going for it? I wasn’t expecting David Cameron’s constituency seat to be minging. He likes his Cotswolds-ness. And, at its heart, Witney is quite a beaut. Church Green, with its wide triangle of lawn flanked by trees and 18th-century town houses, is as pretty as anywhere in the land. Miss Marple would adore it. And I’m loving the Buttercross, with its fat, squat pillars. The high street seems in good health, independents mingling with Boots under 17th-century gables. This is the vision: a dream of honey-coloured, green-wellied living on the edge of the Cotswolds. The reality, though, where most people live, is a little less prepossessing: like its near-neighbour Bicester, the old heart is suffocated in a thick wrap of labyrinthine commuter cul-de-sacs, where the dream is delivered to middle England in the form of suburban semis you might find in Woking or Wimbledon, given local branding with wafer-thin applique Cotswold stone. I’m sure there’s a political message somewhere in there just dying to get out.
The case against All that honey-coloured stone will slowly drive you insane. Seriously. Not cheap. Allergic to Guardian readers: the revolution will never come to Witney, Tory to its core.
Well connected? The A40 zings by on the bypass: 30 mins to Oxford, 50 to Cheltenham, Swindon and the M4. Rail: Charlbury, 20 mins away, has hourly trains to Paddington (90 mins) and the Cotswolds.
Schools Primaries: Witney, Madley Brook, West Witney, the Blake CofE and Tower Hill are “good”, Ofsted says, with the Batt CofE “outstanding”. Secondaries: the Henry Box is “good”.
Hang out at… Coffeesmith for a cuppa in town, but it’s all about country pubs: the Swan Inn by the Windrush at Swinbrook, and the Old Swan at Minster Lovell. They like swans round here.
Where to buy Not cheap, obvs. I’d stick to the small heart, a straggly affair along the banks of the Windrush: Church Green is drop dead, and to the north, on and off the pretty West End, up to Woodgreen. Otherwise it’s ballooning estates, with a few Victorians to 1930s on the ribbon roads out of town. Large detacheds, £450,000-£900,000. Town houses, £500,000-£900,000. Detacheds, £250,000-£450,000. Semis, £240,000-£400,000. Terraces and cottages, £180,000-£350,000. Flats, £150,000-£250,000. Rentals: one-bed flats, £625-£750pcm; three-bed houses, £1,000-£1,400pcm.
Bargain of the week Rare. Hardly a bargain, but this two-bed cottage on West End is as good as it gets: £200,000, with chancellors.co.uk.
From the streets
Toby Swift “The Eagle has the cheapest but best ale in town. Pet hate: the local nightspot closed down so the nightlife for youngsters has died.”
Liz Duncan “Great music scene with an annual festival, independent record store and live music in many pubs. However, commuting to Oxford on the single-carriageway A40 is a nightmare.”
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