What’s going for it? I have fond memories of Howards’ Way, don’t you? Leaving aside the Thatcherite subtext of advancement through the application of ruthless business acumen, of course. And the rickety plot about boatyards and bastards. And the theme tune (whatever happened to the Simon May Orchestra?). All that aside, what got me was the fantasy it conjured up: Dynasty just west of Bognor. I fancied its scriptwriters had Emsworth in mind for the fictional town of Tarrant. It’s a handsome, boaty town, all chandlers and alleys, gift shops and marinas, beached above the wide skies of Chichester Harbour with the South Downs lapping at the shore, and the kind of spot easily overlooked as another smudgy suburb of Portsmouth, unless, like me, you took a wrong turn off the A27. Is that Mrs Howard’s boutique I spy on St Peter’s Square? I’m sure I spotted her at Damar’s hair salon having her bouffant inflated.
The case against Floods: you’re barely above the waves, though Chichester Harbour is pretty sheltered. Not enough soap opera skullduggery.
Well connected? Not bad. Driving: near the junction of the A/M27 and the A3; 15 minutes to Portsmouth, 30 to Southampton, though the traffic can be chronic. Trains: two or three an hour to Portsmouth (25 minutes) and Southampton (47), several to Chichester (10), one or two to Brighton (just over an hour) and Victoria (100-120 minutes).
Schools Primaries: Westbourne, Southbourne Junior and Emsworth are all “good”, says Ofsted, with St James’ CofE “outstanding”. Secondaries: Glenwood is “outstanding”, Bourne Community College and Warblington School are “good”.
Hang out at… Mrs Howard must have lunched at 36 on the Quay. Fat Olives is more her daughter’s kind of place. And shady Ken Masters probably lurked in the lovely Blue Bell for a nightcap.
Where to buy Start in the old town, with homes from every period, and 18th century a speciality: weatherboarded cottages and Queen Anne town houses. Also some good 1960s. West, around Warblington Road, has fine detacheds. Westbourne and Prinsted for villagey-ness. Round the station for Victorians. Smashing 1960s harbour chalets at Osprey Quay. Detacheds, £260,000-£1m. Town houses, £400,000-£700,000. Semis, £240,000-£450,000. Cottages and terraces, £230,000-£350,000. Flats, £140,000-£300,000. Rentals: one-bed, £640pcm; three-bed house, £950-£1,500pcm.
Bargain of the week How can you resist an address like Paradise Lane? Two-bed cottage in Westbourne, £229,500 with hazleandco.com.
From the streets
Alistair Gibson “Emsworth is an amazing foodie destination, with traditional butchers, cafes, pubs, interesting restaurants and a monthly market, plus the annual Emsworth British Food Fortnight.”
Lulu Bowerman “A stroll on the shore and along the Mill Pond wall before a bowl of soup and a beer in one of the pubs is Sunday morning for me.”
• Live in Emsworth? Join the debate below.
Do you live in Lytham St Annes, Lancashire? Do you have a favourite haunt or pet hate? If so, please email lets.move@theguardian.com by Tuesday 21 April.
• This article was edited on 20 April 2015. In an earlier version, we used an image of Langstone, rather than Emsworth. This has been corrected.
