You tolerated the World Cup while it was here, but I bet you miss it now it's gone. Eh? Oh. Anyway, how better to celebrate seven weeks that brought us four decent matches and one runaway winner than by doling out a few faded rosettes for the occasion...
Team of the tournament
Australia come close for maintaining their 100% World Cup record in the 21st century, and three cheers for them, etc. But for unwavering commitment to the cause, a refusal to cave in to pressure, and a self-belief that bordered on the delusional, the winners are the ICC, whose only show of weakness - until their elite umpires and match referees ensured the tournament ended in low farce - came when Malcolm Speed admitted the whole thing had gone on too long. Now that's leadership!
Player of the tournament
Some might argue that the entire West Indies team deserves the accolade for their tireless frequenting of the local bars, but the Spin is thinking of a more conventional kind of player. Glenn McGrath will take his unhittable tag into retirement, Matthew Hayden is owed our thanks for not bellowing "Australia, you beauty" into the nearest camera after decimating one attack after another, and Scott Styris was a hymn to journeymen everywhere. But no one raised pulses like Lasith Malinga - an eye-catching reverse-slinger to thrill us for the next decade.
Catch of the tournament
For athleticism, nothing beat Paul Collingwood's mid-air pluck against West Indies. For sheer unexpectedness, nothing came close to Dwayne Leverock's earth-shattering dive at slip to see off India's Robin Uthappa. It also inspired one of the most enthusiastic pieces of commentary, from - who else? - David Lloyd: "The fridge has opened... He's flown like a gazelle... The earth shook... Boys, you need another nine wickets - the game isn't over!"
Drop of the tournament
Could England's hopelessness have been better encapsulated by the hash Michael Vaughan made of trying to catch Bangladesh's Shahriar Nafees at Bridgetown? Without realising, Vaughan then ran out Habibul Bashar as he hurled the ball in disgust back to Paul Nixon. As an illusionary success, it was a taster of his stunning knock against West Indies.
Hollow success of the tournament
Herschelle Gibbs's six sixes off the Netherlands leg-spinner Daan van Bunge. It was a strangely South African moment: few teams bully the minnows quite as ruthlessly, yet few seem to expend as much emotional energy doing so. And the Spin includes their duffing-up of England here: by the time South Africa tackled Australia in the semi-finals, they were running on adrenaline alone.
Mindgame of the tournament
Jacques Kallis should know better, but then he never quite got over the criticism he received for taking 63 balls to score 48 when South Africa needed seven an over to beat Australia in the group game in St Kitts. Ricky Ponting pointed out that "the tempo of his innings probably wasn't what they needed," then revisited the theme ahead of the semi-final, saying that South Africa would be denied an explosive start "if we can get Kallis in there early". Desperate to shut everyone up, Kallis was bowled for 5 trying to square-drive a McGrath yorker.
Portent of the tournament
The performance of the Bangladeshis, and especially their batsmen. Few people saw it coming, but the way their trio of teenagers - Tamim Iqbal, Mushfiqur Rahim and Saqibul Hasan - cut India to ribbons, and Mohammad Ashraful's toying with South Africa, suggested that we will have no such excuse before 2011.
Anticlimax of the tournament
The run-out of Brian Lara for 18 in the last of his 521 international innings rivalled the final three overs in the dark between Australia and Sri Lanka on Saturday for say-it-ain't-so horror. England's four Tests against West Indies this summer could feel very long without him.
Please-tell-the-Spin-this-isn't-happening moment of the tournament
The opening stand of 9 in 45 balls between Michael Vaughan and Ian Bell in the must-win game against South Africa in Barbados. Some people said it was a throwback to the 1970s, but that was harsh on the 1970s. No, this was the apogee of England's awfulness, the culmination of their stubbornness, and a gloriously hideous admission that they were simply on a different wavelength from every other team in the competition.
Quote of the tournament
"I know people say losing the semi-final is like kissing your sister, but we can take huge positives out of the World Cup." The South Africa coach, Mickey Arthur, begins with weirdness before descending into cliché.
Security guard of the tournament
The frightening matriarch at Exit G of the Kensington Oval who demanded to see the contents of the Spin's laptop bag... as we were leaving the ground.
This is an extract from Lawrence Booth's weekly cricket email, The Spin.
