Well #amazethingIneverthoughtIwouldwriteinmydiary – Dave says we can finally have an actual JET *pauses to locate tears of joy emoji*! I’m like are you SURE now is a good time? Dave’s like, tbh babes initially I was totes against wasting millions of taxpayers’ money on an airborne vanity conveyance, then I was like WTAF & dashed off this like srsly angry letter to myself going Dear Mr Cameron, flying easyJet is EXACTLY what the terrorists want you to do & I am disappointed at this cut to a frontline service. Recent events make it imperative you buy a massive repimped jet & fly about having fun & megabantz, yrs etc, so then I changed my mind #yolo :))) I’m like, yay, what about tax credits, Dave’s like, no problemo, just not buying easyJet Pringles will immediately save a minimum £775 trillion a year, plus if we give him the occasional ride Oik will say we only paid £10m lol.
Also appaz it is literally war!!! Ish. I’m like, soz I do not know much about war because of going to art college but if it is basically just us joining some tray sinister new allies for a few symbolic airstrikes that only lead to further chaos while we prop up a murderous dictator you previously wanted to bomb, are you sure I should book Ibiza for half term? Dave is like *Clausewitz voice* trust me, this will be like SO over by Christmas, cancelling our luxury sunshine break would mean the terrorists have won, plus do not forget my Duke of Edinburgh award, a few Tornados doing super tornadoey things will defo decapitate the Head of the Snake, though I cannot rule out what we military theorists call *boots on the ground*? I’m like omigod, has anyone TOLD Jimmy Choo?
Well war strategy is actually SO fun? All you need is a table, tick, plus a big map, tick, tho of course we are super lucky strategy-wise with Florence’s Playmobil plus Nancy is doing the Romans! Eg, Dave will go, so where exactly IS the Snake’s Head, srsly, THAT far down, oh well best put packed lunches for the pilots on the to-do list, Nancy’s like, & what about your post-conflict planning Dad, Dave’s like, that I DO know: 2017 :)))
