Leo Sayer can talk, but will he walk? You decide.
She came, she saw and she left with carpet burns and cold cream up her back. Jackiey Budden was the first to be evicted from the Big Brother house on Wednesday - bundled, shoeless, out of the diary room.
"That's so evil," gasped Jade through tears, smudged make up and snot. No, that's great telly.
Later tonight, either Dirk Benedict, Leo Sayer or Sunday Mirror columnist Carole Malone will be available to prop up the bar with Budden, as all three face eviction from the Big Brother house.
Sheer indifference at her celebrity credentials leads me to predict that Malone will be bounced next - she'll even make her deadline for the next edition if she gets up early on Saturday. I've not taken to Carole. Admittedly, there is little substance to my argument against her apart from the constant grilling she gives fellow contestants as if she's squirreling the information away for later use.
As a journalist, she's too aware of how she might be portrayed outside the house and has played it safe by taking on the role of mother hen. Consequently, she didn't jump into the Jacuzzi fully clothed, flick fag ash and slur "let's have a faaaking Christmas song" on the first night - which might have given her a better chance.
Her main crime, however, is just being chosen by producers to take part in the first place. In the words of Morrissey while witnessing Daz Sampson at Eurovision: "Why didn't they ask me?"
Still, we won't have much time to miss Malone - she'll be perched on a stool discussing sundry topical issues with Kaye Adams by the end of the week.
That is if Leo Sayer doesn't talk himself out of the house before her. Is it possible that only a week ago this man was tipped to win?
Jo from S-Club 7 summed it up best: "I really like Leo, but when he walks towards me I find myself walking the other way." I completely agree with her. Apart from the first bit.
The trouble with Sayer is that he is under the impression that he is a legend. He put the success of his recent single down to the fact that the British public just "love Leo". I'm sorry? Are we both talking about the same Leo Sayer? The one responsible for You Make Me Feel Like Dancing?
I always thought his musical legacy was a little bit below the Nolan Sisters, a touch above Sarah Brightman & Hot Gossip.
I think it's high time we showed him just how much we love him. Get voting and get him out.
