But seriously now. With just nine more games to go, could Leicester City actually be about to win the Premier League title? That’s the awkward truth facing English football’s elites after Claudio Ranieri’s side extended their lead at the top to five points by beating Watford, while nearest rivals Tottenham and Arsenal could only draw in the north London derby. Fear not, wealthy but perennially underachieving clubs, here comes highfalutin US sports executive Charlie Stillitano, who wants to see a US-style closed competition for Europe’s big sides: “Let’s call it the money pot created by soccer and the fandom around the world. Who has had more of an integral role, Manchester United or Leicester?” he said, before cocking his rifle and shooting Bambi between the eyes.
Sharapova fails drugs test
Maria Sharapova dropped a bombshell in the tennis world by announcing she had been provisionally suspended for failing a drugs test at the Australian Open. The drug is called meldonium, though Sharapova said she had been using it under the name of mildronate for health reasons and was unaware of the different name, or that it had been banned by the World Anti-Doping Association as of January this year. Back on court, defending Davis Cup champions Great Britain again had Andy Murray to thank, the Scot digging deep to grind out a five-set win over Kei Nishikori to drag his country past Japan and into the quarter finals. Elsewhere, a temporary comeback from retirement by Lleyton Hewitt could not stop Australia from being knocked out by the United States, with Hewitt’s team-mate Bernard Tomic caught on a courtside microphone expressing some choice views on fellow Aussie Nick Kyrgios’s decision to duck out of the tie with injury.
Britain’s cyclists triumph
It was all smiles for Great Britain at the Track Cycling World Championships in London after gold medals on the final day from Mark Cavendish, Bradley Wiggins and Laura Trott. Cavendish and Wiggins delighted the home crowd by pulling off a thrilling finish in the Madison, while Trott prevailed in the Omnium. “It’s like when the Stone Roses played at Heaton Park in 2012, it was a good gig and everyone went home happy,” said Wiggins, donning a bucket hat and throwing some shapes. GB finished top of the medals table with five golds, followed by Germany (three) and Australia (two).
Cricket awaits T20 bonanza
International cricket biffed its way towards the ICC World Twenty20 which begins for proper in India on 15 March, once qualifying rounds are completed. The tournament promises to be one of the most open for some time, with Australia and South Africa both warming up impressively, while New Zealand, England and West Indies have all made great strides in the game’s shortest form recently. Even so, India will be the team to beat on slow home pitches. With the host nation set to open proceedings against New Zealand, it will be a surprise if they are not also rounding things off in the final in Kolkata on 3 April.
