English is a magnificent language and, on the whole, we like the fact that it has grown organically, without too much regulation and inteference from the Academy. There are rules, but they are mostly too arcane to grasp as a system. We like that. We like the fact that 'enough' isn't pronounced 'ennow' and that 'bough' isn't pronounced 'buff'. We are sceptical of Lynn Trussism - rule sticklage for its own sake - and we embrace idiom, innovation, neologism and, in moderation, the odd creative Americanism. If it works, use it. It's a no-brainer.
But there is one area in which English might benefit from the sort of top-down linguistic reform that is occasionally implemented by cultural guardians in France and Germany. We believe it is time to loosen the rules over the spelling of our definite article. We believe it is time that 'teh' became a legitimate spelling of 'the'.
There can be no doubt that there is something in the conjunction of the standard keyboard layout and the configuration of human fingers and brains that makes 'teh' fly from the fingers so much more naturally than 'the'. We do not think the pronounciation need change, nor do we propose the abolition of the existing article. We just want broad acceptance of the fact that 'the' can also be spelled 'teh'. It can't be that difficult - we have the silent 'p'; 'gnarled' starts with a 'g' of all things.
The revolution starts here. 'Teh' is not a mistake, it is alternative usage.
Next week: Our campaign to ban CAPS LOCK.
