A former teacher and Masterchef runner-up from Leeds has spoken out about the effect taking part in competitive reality TV shows can have on mental health.
Self taught cook, Jo Mills, from Garforth, was devastated when she was sent home after reaching the quarter finals in the latest series of Masterchef.
The series was filmed in during lockdown in November 2020 and aired on BBC One in April.
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And while Jo enjoyed the "exhilarating experience" she also admits to having fallen into a deep depression after being kicked off the show.
The 51-year-old says the extreme highs and lows can be tricky to manage and admitted to struggling with the rejection after she narrowly missed out on the final.
Jo says she and other former contestants refer to the aftermath as "MasterChef PTSD" and have a Facebook group where they are able to support each other.
Jo said: "I fell into a massive depression after the show, I'd gone from these massive highs to just blackness.
"I felt really rejected, getting a quarter of the way to the final and then being told that you are not good enough is really difficult to swallow.
"I was constantly beating myself, I knew I could have done better and I kept replaying in my head all the things I should have done differently.
"When I came back we were just plunging into the second lockdown as well, so that didn't help.
"Still now I haven't been able to watch the full series."
But the mum-of-two, whose husband Jonathan died in 2013 after suffering from a brain tumour, has said life is too short not to chase your dreams and was actually inspired by her two daughters to kick start a new business.
Jo was a biology teacher at a secondary school when her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumour, and cut her hours to part time to help care for her husband and their two children.
After Jo's husband tragically passed away, Jo stopped working all together as the pressure to be a full-time mum to her two daughters and work in a high pressured job was too much.
Jo said: "I gave up my career to support the children during what was an extremely difficult time for us - my children needed me."
The girls are now both aged 19 and 21 and are studying at university, so Jo took the plunge to pursue her lifelong passion of cooking by applying to the show.
She said: "Last year was the year I thought, they are both at uni now, it's time to do something for me.
"I have always been passionate about cooking, growing up my mum was a very bland cook and I was always interested in experimenting with more exotic foods.
"I would go to bed at night reading cook books, I was always experimenting in the kitchen, cooking for friends and hosting dinner parties.
"It was a dream come true to land a spot on MasterChef."
"I didn't expect for one minute to be left feeling the way I did, I struggled for weeks afterwards, I would get up in the morning and just cry, Jo explained.
"All that build up and adrenaline and then it's all just taken away.
"Initially it knocked my confidence and I sort of fell out of love with cooking but one day I decided enough was enough and gave myself a kick up the bum!"
Thankfully, Jo is in a much better place now and was actually inspired by her two daughters to simplify her cooking and focus on every day dishes which sparked the idea behind her up coming book.
"The girls came home from uni and they were asking me for simple, quick, easy recipe ideas that they could take back with them.
"It made me realise that is exactly what people want, most people don't have the time to be spending hours in the kitchen making fancy emulsions, purees and gels, they just want good, flavoursome food and fast.
"I began working on some recipes and soon got my passion for cooking back, I started to share my dishes on social media and was blown away by the response, it's a real pinch me moment when I see people recreating my recipes - I get imposter syndrome!
"I decided there and then that I was going to take the plunge and write my own cookbook and I was going to fill it with delicious, 30-minute meals that anyone can cook."
Jo quickly developed the brand 'MrsMillsCooks' and is also in the process of launching a seasoning selection, which she says makes flavouring food easier.
"As I was developing my dishes, I realised just how many different herbs and spices are used to enhance the flavour of food, I have hundreds of spices in my cupboard but I wanted to create an easy way to make food flavoursome with the hard work done for you."
Jo claims she has found the fun in cooking again by stripping everything back and going back to the basics.
"I've done a full circle, from creating fancy elaborate dishes on MasterChef to finding happiness in the simplicity of food again.
"I've got every gadget and chemical going in my kitchen, but it's been really empowering to strip it all back and just really focus on the basics, I have realised that's where the fun is and more importantly the flavour!"
Jo's cook book is set to be released later this year, in the mean time she uploads weekly recipes to her website which can be found here.
