Apparently, Led Zeppelin played a huge, stadium-filling reunion gig on Monday night. Right here in London, England. Can you believe it?! Thankfully, the Mirror's 3am team were there to report on all the carnage. So what was it like, team? Mind-bending, non-stop, ear-splitting rock'n'roll?
Well, who cares about that - Naomi Campbell was backstage! And she managed to lose her Blackberry and allegedly accused Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl of nicking it, but he couldn't have nicked it because he was too busy winding up Liam Gallagher by whistling. And then, Sir Paul McCartney was caught smoking something a little whiffy while having a drink in the VIP area.
"The Beatles legend was spotted with what seemed to be a, er, herbal roll-up," wheeze the girls.
All that and pop rocker Pink was there, and so was Arctic Monkeys bassist Nick O'Malley, and Bob Geldof, and Robert Plant, whoever he is.
Sounds like a mad night back in the VIP area, doesn't it? Which might explain the distinct lack of coverage about the actual concert, as 3am sign off: "Oh yeah, we almost forgot about the show..."
One man who most certainly did NOT forget about the show, right, is the Sun's Bizarre man Gordon Smart.
You'll be pleased, but no doubt unsurprised that Bizarre Gordon kept the promise he made to his constituents in the manifesto he laid out upon assuming the role of Minister of Kewl just weeks ago. In this manifesto, you may recall (but probably don't, so we'll remind you), Gordon said he "held wrinkly rockers in high esteem" and after witnessing the Led Zep on Monday, we're pleased to report that high esteem is still in evidence.
"I said in my Bizarre manifesto I held wrinkly rockers in high esteem [you see: proof] and Led Zep's first show in 19 years didn't disappoint."
So undisappointing was the show, in fact, that Bizarre Gordon goes on to claim that the band are considering rolling out their one-off reunion show and doing another one-off at Madison Square Garden.
Claims a source: "One of the guys started talking about their three [legendary 1973] concerts at the Garden. There was a consensus of, 'why not?' I have no doubt after their reaction back-stage that they will be there next year playing to a sell-out crowd."
Who knows, maybe there might be another unique one-off gig after that too, in Dubai or something. Anyway, here's Liam Gallagher's thoughts on the evening: "Mega."
Moving on...
What do you get when you cross feminist icon Germaine Greer with Labour MP Ed Balls?
Erm, the president of the Spice Girls fan club?
"We had a whole generation of girls who discovered that power was cool because of the Spice Girls," says Greer in today's Express. That's right, not from their mothers and fathers, who were more than likely schooled on the notion of female empowerment in the 60s from the likes of Greer. Nope, they learned it from Geri "feminism is bra-burning lesbianism" Halliwell.
"My generation of women wouldn't have known what power was. They thought it was something you squirted under the rim of the toilet."
We can empathise with that - we're always mixing up our power with our Toilet Duck. But as for the Spice Girls as icons for young women? To that we say: Balls.
The Daily Express reports that Radio 3 presenter Andy Kershaw was warned by a judge yesterday that he faces jail unless he keeps to a restraining order against his ex-girlfriend.
The presenter is on compassionate leave from the BBC following the three-month suspended sentence he received in October after admitting to harassing the mother of his two children, Juliette Banner.
Douglas high bailiff Michael Moyler told Kershaw: "Prison is a real possibility. When we meet on January 15 it might be advisable to have your bags packed.
"If you wish not to have any further dealings with your children, carry on in the way you're doing."
Your honour, would you mind if we lent Andy some contradictory advice, and said: don't?
