A Washington veteran who felt "abandoned" after leaving the military has urged people in the North East to show their support for ex-service people this Christmas time.
Stephen Fullard joined the Scots Guards at the age of 18, in 2004, seeing active duty in Afghanistan.
His service was "the best time of his life" - but he was dealt a devastating blow when loud weapon fire left him with ear injuries, bringing his eight years in the army to an end with medical discharge.
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Now 36 and a dad to three-year-old son Max, Stephen said his experience highlights the need for better support for those returning to everyday life after time in the forces.
He said: "I loved it, it was probably the best time of my life, it was fantastic. There were a lot of work colleagues that became best friends, it's like you're part of a big family.
"Coming back from that is absolutely awful. It was the worst thing in my life. It felt like a whirlwind: I was medically discharged in 2012, when I got the letter I literally had just four days left in the army.
"Basically you're thrown out there on your own. I know a couple of guys who've ended their lives, because they were not getting the support they needed. If you've been in the army since you were 16, you've been there 20 years and you come out, it's a big adjustment - it hits a lot of people really hard and it's not recognised.
"People need more support when they leave the military, that message needs to be put out there."
The army offered Stephen some resettlement advice and a transition workshop, but he felt "abandoned" and unsupported. Although he found work as a driver, he never managed to settle into one role. The transition hit his mental health hard and in 2018 he was diagnosed with anxiety and depression after things reached 'breaking point' at home.
He said: "It's hard because I didn't want to be the 'weak' person and that's why I suffered for a couple of years before getting diagnosed. My wife and I were having arguments all the time and I got to the point where I was lashing out for no reason. I was finding everyday life hard, I was hiding myself away from everybody.
"It got to the point where I had to sort myself out or I was out.
"To anyone feeling that way, I would say I know exactly where you're coming from, but you need to bring yourself out and to do that you need to tell people. When people think they are big boys who can cope with it all by themselves it builds up and build up - at least if you tell someone, it gets a little bit better."
Two years of medication and counselling helped, but in October 2020 he was dealt another blow, losing his driving job during the pandemic.
With the help of an employment advisor from veteran's charity Walking With The Wounded, Stephen found a new role as a project manager with a supportive employer, Washington-based Crucial Solutions. Having initially struggled to find work, Stephen has urged more businesses to consider the advantages veterans can bring to their teams.
He said: "People look at the army in two ways: some people think 'you've been in the army, we're not having you, you're like a robot'. Others look at you and see your discipline, your time-keeping, that you've got a bit of experience with the world that other people don't.
"To me, someone who has been in service is somebody who you should really want to employ: they are disciplined, they've been all over the world, they've seen things most people won't ever see. In the military you are meeting challenges all the time and you just have to deal with them."
Stephen shared his story in a bid to support Walking With The Wounded's Christmas appeal to raise much-needed funds for its veteran mental health and employment programmes. In the run-up to Christmas, thousands of people have taken part in its Walking Home For Christmas campaign, raising sponsorship cash through festive walks.
Joel Oxberry, head of income at Walking With The Wounded, said: “Our mission is to continue to be there for all those who have served and deserve our support. The Covid pandemic has placed a spotlight on mental health and our veterans have been amongst the hardest hit by the pandemic, they deserve our support at a critical moment.
"Many veterans have trouble reintegrating into society, which can mean that relationships break down, unemployment can become more long term, and in the most severe cases, this can lead to alcohol or drug issues.
"Without our mental health support programme, these veterans would be unsupported. We, therefore, hope that focusing our fundraising on mental health will bring the public closer to understanding the devastating impact serving our country has and will have on the people who protect us.”
You can read more about the fundraising appeal at https://www.walkinghomeforchristmas.com/
For confidential support from volunteers, including for suicidal thoughts, Samaritans can be contacted free on 116 123 or by email to jo@samaritans.org
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