“A cake is a symbol of love and friendship,” Delia writes, “If someone actually goes to the trouble of baking a cake specially for family and friends, they can’t fail to feel spoiled and cared for.” As my colleagues could attest, I have many flaws as a coworker, but there are few flaws at the workplace or at home that you can’t make up for by baking somebody a cake. At least, I hope so.
Readers may be familiar with the idea of a “mother sauce”, a term coined by the French chef Auguste Escoffier to describe the four sauces that, once learned, will make you realise that most of the recipes you have pinned to your fridge are, basically, hollandaise sauce with a suit and tie on.
Delia handily provides the recipe for what you might call “a mother cake” – a classic sponge that, once made, you can adapt almost endlessly to make any number of simple and delicious cakes. Delia being Delia, she also provides a handy list of five rules, that, if followed, will guarantee that your cakes will keep your colleagues happy – no matter what.
Delia’s first rule is that your tin must be the right size. “This,” Delia warns, “is where 99 per cent of cakemaking goes wrong.”
If Delia can, at times, resemble a particularly strict religion – follow the rules, go to heaven, disobey them and be cast into hell – when it comes to cakes she is closer to a mafia kingpin. Buy the correct tins, or the sponge gets it. By a happy coincidence, Delia herself sells a range of cake tins that are the correct size. Having had my fingers burned, both literally and figuratively, when I last disobeyed Delia’s instructions, I buy some of her tins. They are very good, although using them does make me feel a little bit like I am no longer merely following a recipe, but have joined a cult.
Tin out of the way, the next step, says Delia, is “a reliable recipe”. By another happy coincidence, Delia herself also offers a variety of reliable recipes. The third rule, which, to be frank feels somewhat redundant in light of the second, is that you need to weigh the ingredients correctly. (Delia does not, at time of writing, offer a range of scales, but it can only be a matter of time.)
Delia’s fourth rule – “Once the cake is in the oven, don’t open the door” – has resulted in the needless deaths of thousands of literal-minded people in kitchen fires, but is a good rule of thumb – although, to be frank this is not a problem I have. My approach to baking a cake has always been to leave the timer on and wander off to read a book until it buzzes, or, if the book is particularly good, a burning smell starts to come from the oven.
Delia’s final rule is “make sure your oven is functioning correctly”, is one that I have a couple of problems with. The first is that it really ought to have been the first rule, seeing at this point I have bought a new cake tin, followed a recipe, chucked it in the oven and am now hoping that the cake comes out okay.
The good news is that, provided your oven works alright, it will produce a lovely sponge cake that you can easily adapt in a variety of different recipes. Now, I have to go. Delia doesn’t yet sell a range of ovens, and I have a business proposal for her. This time next week, I’ll be a millionaire…
- Stephen Bush is cooking his way through Delia’s Complete How To Cook (BBC Books, £40) in a year; @stephenkb. You can watch Delia Smith’s free Online Cookery School videos at deliaonline.com; @DeliaOnline
