Laura Winter had always marked International Women’s Day, enjoying it as a moment when women’s voices were amplified, listened to and heard. But for the sports journalist and TV presenter, that changed abruptly last year.
“It was the day my life changed for ever, everything I knew was ripped apart and I sank to the lowest I’ve ever been; I was completely broken as a human being,” she says. “This International Women’s Day there is a feeling of dread because of the emotions that will undoubtedly resurface. I just don’t know how my body and brain will react.”
On International Women’s Day last year, Winter – who is presenting Formula One coverage this season – was violently attacked by her then boyfriend, ending up in hospital. This year, the 30-year-old wanted to share her story to highlight how domestic abuse can impact people from all demographics and of all ages.
The Office for National Statistics estimates that 2.4 million adults aged 16-74 experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2019. Police recorded 746,219 domestic abuse-related crimes, an increase of 24% from the previous year, while three women every fortnight are killed by a current or former partner.
“Domestic abuse does not discriminate, it can happen to anyone,” says Winter. “I am lucky. I have a job I love, I had the financial means to leave, I had family and friends. There are thousands of women who have no way out, who are coerced, who aren’t believed. I’m fortunate, many women aren’t.”
Winter is also putting her support behind a Women’s Aid campaign to save its live chat service, which is in danger of being axed if the organisation cannot find £200,000 to fund it. Used frequently by younger women like Winter and victims who may not feel safe or confident enough to call, users can live chat directly with a Women’s Aid support worker.
“For young people a chat service is crucial, it’s far more attuned to their lives and how they communicate,” she says. “The reality is that the live chat saves lives. Given that we are seeing younger victims of domestic abuse, it’s a really valuable tool.”
Winter describes how, unknown to her, her live-in partner had been monitoring and reading all of her social media activity. She was at home with her ex-boyfriend and a friend, when he started an argument and told the friend to leave. During the argument, he soon became violent, punching her repeatedly in the face until she barricaded herself in the kitchen.
“I thought I was going to die,” she says. “I’d never felt pure terror until that night and it will never leave me.” Fortunately, a neighbour heard her screams and banged on the door. While she fled to his apartment, her ex-partner left the building, locking her out of her flat and taking her phone. He was quickly arrested, and Winter’s mother came to support her as she gave a statement to police.
Then she went to A&E where she had to wait for hours “among drunken men” despite telling staff she had been attacked by her boyfriend.
“My stomach was a mess, my head was killing me,” she says. “I was sitting in A&E, thinking, ‘what on earth am I going to do now?’ The future terrified me.”
In the weeks and months afterwards, following the conviction of her ex-boyfriend, she suffered from extreme PTSD, lost weight, and struggled to appear bubbly and confident in front of the camera.
She says her ex-partner went on social media four months later, denying he had hit her and accusing her of lying – content only removed when she took legal action. “It was deeply traumatic, and a continuation of psychological abuse,” she says.
But a year on, Winter has started to recover. “There are times when it feels like a life sentence, but now there are other times I don’t think about it at all,” she says. “I feel stronger than I’ve ever felt, I feel very content and happy, which I hope might give hope to others. You will get better.”
Winter hopes speaking about her own struggle with trauma can help others talk about the repercussions of violence and abuse, and encourage them to come forward and seek help safely.
“Now I’m in the swing of life and I’m living again, I can see the light and I feel whole as a human being. But there are moments, flashbacks, when you get that burning in your stomach, when your heart rate increases,” she says. “This year, I just want to get through this International Women’s Day, but I’d like to think that by 2021 I will be celebrating other women’s bravery again.”
