Late-night hosts discussed Donald Trump’s Coca-Cola butler, his plan to overhaul the US tax system – while tossing in some tax breaks for billionaires – and Flynngate.
On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert mocked Trump sending out his team of “working-class, blue-collar former Goldman Sachs executives” to explain his/their tax plan. One of those, Gary Cohn, noted that in 1935 the tax form required just two pages of instructions, compared to 211 today.
“Of course, 1935 was the height of the Great Depression,” Colbert responded. “So the two-page form was just, page one: do you have money? Yes or no? Page two was so you’d have something to eat.”
Following further revelations about Mike Flynn, former national security adviser and “before-picture in a laxative ad”, Colbert suggested previous reports about Flynn’s conduct had been “just the tip of the corruptionberg”.
Colbert then turned on Jason Chaffetz, the leading Republican on a committee responsible for investigating Flynn. “Please just grow a pair and tell us what Flynn did, you gutless Charles Schulz rough draft,” Colbert retorted, to hearty applause.
Finally, Colbert noted that Trump has had a red button installed on the Resolute Desk that he uses to summon a Coke-bearing butler. “He’s turning the Oval Office into an eight-year-old’s drawing of a dream treehouse,” Colbert quipped. “Good for him. The president deserves to be refreshed! Really living the dream.”
On Late Night, Seth Meyers ran through some archive clips of Trump complaining about Barack Obama’s use of executive orders. “He doesn’t want to get together and make laws because that’s too much work and he wants to get back to playing golf,” Trump said at the time. “It is at this point like a law of physics: for every Trump action there’s an equal and opposite Trump clip,” Meyers joked.
The president has reversed his position on Nato, which he says he no longer considers obsolete. Trump’s explanation for the reversal was that he hadn’t known much about Nato. “You see? I’m stupid, so I lied. What’s the problem?” as Meyers put it.
Noting the number of times – 16 – a reporter was forced to write “unintelligible” in the transcript of Trump’s infamous interview with AP, Meyers was struck that “Trump’s answers are literally just mad libs now.”
On the Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon wished first lady Melania Trump a happy birthday: “She plans to celebrate with her loved ones – and Donald.” The couple planned to celebrate as they always do: “Making sure Donald has something to unwrap too so he doesn’t feel left out.”
Fallon also mentioned former presidential candidate Chris Christie giving Trump a B grade on his first 100 days, as well as an A on immigration, and a C on healthcare. “Long story short, he ended up spelling bacon. He can’t help himself.”
