Late-night hosts discussed Trump’s latest immigration proposal as well as the continuing problems surrounding a repeal of Obamacare.
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert started with a new policy that favors immigrants who have a better understanding of the English language. “Immigrants have to learn proper English, like bigly, covfefe and bing bing bing bing bing bing bing,” he joked.
He also ridiculed the proposed merit-based system: “Mr President, wherever you are today, it’s not based on merit.”
Colbert then brought up the heated press conference that saw an argument between Stephen Miller, “policy advisor and St Joseph’s baby Goebbels” and CNN reporter Jim Acosta.
Miller took issue with Acosta’s claim that the new proposal would lead to more immigrants from Great Britain and Australia. “I’ve got to agree with Miller on that one,” he said. “I’m not sure that what Australians are speaking is actually English.”
There was also an odd comparison between migrating to America and receiving a golden ticket in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. “If you’re trying to prove you’re not racist then don’t compare this to a movie where a guy enslaved a bunch of little orange people to work in his factory,” he said.
On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah spoke about the other big news, that attorney general Jeff Sessions, Trump’s “confederate house elf”, was trying to crack down on discrimination against white people in colleges.
“If American colleges were any whiter, John Snow would build a wall to protect us from them,” Noah joked.
He spoke about a statistic claiming 54% of Trump voters believe the biggest problem in America is that white people are losing out. He speculated about exactly where white people are struggling: “In the sun?”
Noah then said: “It’s almost like when rich people complain about their financial problems.”
On Full Frontal, Samanatha Bee discussed the ongoing attempt to repeal the Affordable Care Act and the myth that it’s been trapped in a death spiral. “Obamacare is still alive and well despite Republicans hacking away at it for seven long years,” she said.
After listing the sabotage that Republicans have attempted since it was introduced, she said: “Does Obamacare have real problems? Fuck yes. Premiums and deductibles are way too high for a lot of people ... so fix it!”
Bee them made the comparison to Republicans: “You’re like someone who’s just been given a house then they find out the toilet in the guest bathroom runs and instead of jiggling the handle, they decide to just fucking torch the place.”
Trump’s repeated statements about letting it implode also concerned her. “Who minds playing Russian Roulette if you’re pointing the gun at someone else?”
On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the ex-SNL comic spoke about the report claiming Trump calls other world leaders to ask how many people they have in their country. “He’s not a diplomat, he’s a restaurant hostess,” he joked.
He then followed up by asking: “Why use Google when you can make an international call?”
Another report alleges that Trump has been referring to the White House as a dump.
“I’m sure the White House seems understated when you’re used to living in Mr T’s jewelry box – or maybe you just hate it because technically it is public housing.”
