Valentine's Day is a minefield of worthless ephemera targeted at the laziest, guiltiest people in the country.
There are many items you should refrain from buying on Valentine's Day itself. Those gas-station flowers in the plastic wrapping only exist as a test of your common sense. The CVS or Walgreen's candy aisle? They're likely half-filled with Easter Candy today, with the other half populated by holiday-packaged leftovers typically favored by the key demographics of "60 Minutes" and "Blue Bloods."
If you're looking for something respectable, it's a tough call on that front, too. The Society of American Florists notes that florists charge $84 in the lead-up to Valentine's Day for arranged long-stem roses that typically cost $66 during the rest of the year. Loose roses go for $67 this time of year, but are still pricier than the $51 you'd normally pay. It's all part of the roughly $19.7 billion in spending spree that that National Retail Federation says 54.8% of consumers took part in last year.
Shoppers spent an average of $146.84 on flowers, jewelry, candy, apparel and more, up from $142.31 in 2015. Bankrate.com notes that shoppers averaged $41.66 for a dozen roses, $80.46 for dinner (before tip), $15.11 for chocolates, $323.26 for diamond earrings and $51.54 for champagne.
However, it's just a blip in what's typically a lackluster sales month. After the recession took effect in 2008 and made 2009's February sales stronger than those seen during that year's holiday season, February has ranked among the worst retail sales months of the year, according to Census Bureau data. Last year, its $302.8 billion in sales were the lowest of the year. The only other month that comes close to that futility is January, which performed worse than February from 2009 through 2015.
Yet February is stubbornly attached to slow shopping thanks to miserable weather and a general lack for motivation. February retail sales sank to $243.8 billion in 2009 before taking two years two reach pre-recession levels. Last year's February sales were the highest on record but still fell shy of March's $306 billion total. After the holidays, the post-holiday sales and even Valentine's Day, America puts away its wallet until early spring uptick. In fact, February sales last year lagged $6 billion to $8 billion behind summer totals and a whopping $12 billion behind the retail economy's Thanksgiving/Black Friday peak in November.
Though the procrastinators among you will want to give those Valentine's Day sales a push, there are some surprisingly terrible ways to do so. With help from DealNews, here are just some of the items best avoided for Valentine's Day:
Clothes from closing stores
Some of the biggest '90s mall staples have called it quits in recent weeks, as American Apparel, The Limited and Wet Seal all announced that they're going out of business. This is likely distressing to people who shopped them religiously 20 years ago but not surprising considering that much of the country hadn't shopped at those stores a a decade or more.
The good news is that they'll be marking everything down, but the bad news is that you're not going to be able to return anything. Considering that you're buying these items as gifts, you're going to be stuck with them if you don't buy them in the right size or woefully misjudge your loved one's fashion sense. A 40%-off coupon code from American Apparel is enticing, but -- in a tragic coincidence -- you'll likely be better off buying American Apparel items on Amazon. They'll not only still be sold there until stock disappears, but Amazon will still accept returns.
Craftsman tools
People who stuck by Craftsman tools for years have gone to lengths to get their hands on Craftsman's U.S.-made items after Sears shifted some production to foreign suppliers.
Now that the Craftsman brand has been sold to Stanley Black & Decker, the new owners announced plans to make more products at U.S. plants. The issue is that Sears, being Sears, is going to continue to manufacture Craftsman tools through other suppliers. Sears management has done just about everything in its power to run the chain into the ground on its watch, so messing with Craftsman after it's been sold and flooding the market with Craftsman products that will likely depress their value is just in keeping with standard practices.
As DealNews points out, though, having both Stanley Black & Decker and Sears producing Craftsman products also clouds the effectiveness of Craftsman's lifetime guarantee. Will your old Craftman hammer or drill be replaced by one of Stanley Black & Decker's local suppliers, or by the Johnny's House of Tools and Stuff that Sears solicited with the lowest bid. Maybe hold off on buying any of it until this sorts itself out.
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