Just when renters think they might’ve seen it all, along comes a new listing with a request so bonkers it stops you mid-scroll. This time, it’s an advertisement that comes with *checks notes* specific instructions on which direction the tenant must face while having a shower. Yep.
In the ad that’s making the rounds of Reddit — after first popping up in a local Adelaide Facebook group — one landlord is offering a fully furnished bedroom for rent near Mile End, in the city’s inner west. It’s marketed as being available from May 19, for around $200 a week for one person and $280 for two occupants.
As it always goes with these things, there’s a catch. In this case, it’s handwritten instructions, each one radiating more passive-aggressive Post-It energy than a disgruntled college roommate.
“Please open and close these two doors softly,” the note on the seemingly mould-ridden shower reads, warning the pulleys would break if moved too quickly.
Another note taped to the door asks tenants to “please stand [with] your back to tile walls/your face directly to doors” so water doesn’t drip out to the floor.
And if you’ve somehow missed the memo and left the floor wet? Well, there’s specific instructions to mop it up.
Naturally, Reddit was horrified (and low-key entertained?) by the tragic absurdity of it all.
“I think capitalism would be if they charge you extra rent to stand in any direction you like,” remarked one Redditor as another added they thought the ‘Please Help’ sign “was a message from a hostage tenant”.
“I’m pretty sure that mould is actually holding the shower door to the wall… good lord,” one person added.
“It does come with both hot and cold water, that’s fancy,” another wrote.
The ~commandments~ didn’t even end in the bathroom, with notes written out on A4 paper that can be seen taped in the kitchen and the living areas.
We can’t tell for sure what they say, but judging by the shower manifesto, you can only guess it’s something along the lines of “Thou shall not make noise after 8pm”.
Some eagle-eyed potential renters were also quick to spot an actual CCTV camera in pics of the kitchen.
“Those cameras are just there to distract you from the hidden ones,” one person joked.
To top it all off, a room and bed clearly for one person was labelled as a ‘double bedroom’. How two people could comfortably inhabit that space is beyond me.
“Two people on a single bed would be a bit of a stretch,” one Redditor pointed out, while others joked they “could sleep in shifts” or “pay extra to evict their bed buddy”.
“My prison cell was nicer, but I didn’t get a whole bookcase,” another person remarked.
Speaking to the Daily Mail Australia, the 74-year-old father of the woman who owns the unit said the shower instructions are meant to mitigate the risk of the door breaking.
He told the publication he’s open to removing the signs and that the black mould in the shower would be cleaned. And, in case you were wondering, the CCTV in the kitchen has been taken down.
Honestly, while we’re deep in a rental crisis, the saddest part about all this might be that this apartment is still likely to get snapped up — even if it means sacrificing your choice of where to face while taking a shower.
“Sad part is people are jumping on these opportunities because there is nothing else,” one person pointed out.
Lead image: Reddit
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